Perils of Reproduction: March 2008 Archives

So I'm fixing a fine family feast (Sunday being the one night a week that I cook, sometimes), when The Boy returns from batting practice with his father and the following conversation occurs:

Boy:  "Mommy, can I say 'balls?'"

Me:  "Umm, what?"

Boy:  "Can I say 'balls?'  You know, like with your weiner?"

Me:  "Ah.  You mean, instead of 'testicles?'"

Boy:  "Yeah."

Me:  "Do your friends say that?"

Boy:  "Yes.  Some of them do."

Me: (buying time) "Ah."

Boy: (looks at me expectantly)

Me:  "Dear!  Can The Boy say 'balls?'"

Hublet: "What?"

Me:  "BALLS!  Instead of testicles!"

Hublet: (soft snicker heard coming from back of house where Hublet is located)

Boy:  (still waiting)

Me:  (sighs deeply.)  "Yes, just not in public."

Boy:  "Okay."

Me:  "Or nuts."

Boy: "Nuts?"

Me:  (can't believe I'm going there, yet there I go--story of my life) "Yes, sometimes people say 'nuts.'  Instead of 'balls.'  Just in case you hear that, so you won't be confused."

Boy:  "Oh.  Okay."  (goes to play)

Me:  (calls after him) "BUT NOT IN PUBLIC!"