Recently in Academe Category

I literally don't get it.  Okay, so you get a penalty for tripping, but you and another guy can beat the crap out of each other on the ice for about 3 minutes and the refs will just stand there, and then you get a penalty?  Or tossed out?  I don't know.  So how come they didn't fight after every roughing up incident?  What made the one incident such a big, fat, hairy deal?  Everybody was getting slammed around the entire game.  Whatever, heavily padded guys with unpronounceable names.

And how the hell do you delay the game?  I'm just trying to figure out where the puck is and it all seems to be moving pretty quickly to me, so again, whatever, people.

But The Boy got a foam finger, and yelled "woooo!" at the appropriate moments when Ric Flair was on the jumbotron, and our team won, so I'm calling our yearly foray to the arena a success.

In other news, clawing my way back from the phlegm-producing cold from hell, and feeling much better.  Of course, this feeling is somewhat tempered by the fact that I have to spend tomorrow corralling chemists (who are notorious for being whiny and feeling put-upon on this campus - no clue why) for the media. God only knows what they'll say on camera.

I need more vitamin C.

Seriously.  You can tell he likes Tom Wolfe, because their observational suburban humor is similar.

Plus, he said he was a fan of Wolfe, so there you go.

This week has been taken up by the Emerging Issues Forum, where Brooks spoke this a.m.  We also saw Chris Dodd (I know), the entire NC congressional delegation, and a passel of other political types pontificating on infrastructure and, inevitably, the bailout.

The only thing I learned for sure?  Well, things, actually.  The first thing is that the convention center's catering is pretty good!  The second is that it doesn't matter how hard you press yourself against the wall, if you're in a room with politicians, they will find you and shake your hand.

Hopefully my world will be back to normal--or what is passing for normal at the current time, an important distinction--tomorrow.

Saturday marks the 5th annual Krispy Kreme challenge, a non-university event that still takes place here, because it was started by our students.

What, you may ask, is the KKC?

You have to start at the belltower, run 2 miles to the local Krispy Kreme, eat a dozen donuts, and run the 2 miles back in 1 hour.  Hopefully you will do all this without puking your guts out, but history has taught us otherwise.  In case you're wondering, 5,000 people have signed up to do it this year.

This year, ESPN is sending a crew to cover it.  Which means I get to work the event. 

I am totally wearing washable shoes.  And I'd better get some free donuts, dammit.

For fun, here's the student-made trailer for last year's challenge.

Remember:  1 hour, 4 miles, 12 donuts, 2400 calories!

Yeah, I've been scarce lately because frankly, there's not a lot going on that I feel like commenting on that other folks haven't been over already.  It's February, my feet are cold, and I'm not very interesting right now.

However, if you want something to read that might interest you, feel free to peruse the "kindler, gentler" approach to plagiarism enforcement being touted by this lady, who seems to be suffering under the impression that college professors don't bother to delineate between different types of plagiarism (i.e., deliberate theft versus ignorance) or bother to teach students proper citation procedures.  Umm, as someone who literally beat the MLA citation forms to DEATH in her courses, I feel I must take exception.

And you know, if a prof teaching a 300 level English course doesn't spend half of it on a citation refresher, that could be due to the fact that the students SHOULD ALREADY HAVE COVERED THIS IN ENGLISH 101.

Also, just because kids today may "question the possibility of originality" and see rules about attribution as "silly," that doesn't make them right.  In fact, someone may be so bold as to suggest that a professor's role is to CORRECT SUCH MISAPPREHENSIONS, instead of handwringing about the fact that doing so is HARD, and you can't seem to make them CARE ENOUGH. 

Gah. I'm getting a haircut at lunch, going to see a cheesy 3-D horror movie this evening, and then I'm going to drink a huge glass of wine and pray for February to be over.

I spent this morning credentialing and toting media folks to their assigned spaces for a speech by former President Clinton.

Amusing notes:

• The speech only started 15 minutes late
• Clinton only spoke 20 minutes longer than he was supposed to

As for the speech itself, I will sum it up in geekspeak:

Bill Clinton wants the world to be Star Trek: the Next Generation.  Unfortunately, we're all living in the current version of Battlestar Galactica.

So there's that.

In my world, the meeting during which it was decided to invite David Horowitz to be on a panel at the MLA might have gone something like this:

Head of Organizing Committee:  "Okay, so we've decided to do a panel on academic freedom.  Who should we invite?"

Committee Member #1:  "Well, there's been a lot of controversy on the topic, most of it generated by David Hor..."

Committee Member #2:  "Shh! Don't say it out loud!"

CMM #1:  "What?  Why?"

CMM #2:  "They'll HEAR you!"

Committee Member #3:  "I'm sorry, I'm confused."

CMM #2:  "If you speak the name of the evil one aloud, the armies of neo-con darkness will hear you!  Their spies are everywhere!"

Committee Head:  "Fred, are you feeling okay? I know you've been a bit under the weather since they delayed publication of your new book..."

CMM #3:  "Oh!  You published?  Congrats!  What's the title?"

CMM #2:  "It was called Evil Fascist Americans Doing Evil Fascist Stuff in America: The Dark Empire of All that is Evil in the Universe. Volume 1 of a 23-volume set.  But SOMEONE put the kibosh on it--I think the neocons got to the publisher before the truth could come out."

CMM #1:  "But isn't there already a 47-volume set published by Berkeley press on this topic?  If I remember correctly, it's the definitive edition."

CMM #2:  "Lies!  All lies!  Pernicious half-truths! The neocons have invaded Berkeley!  They're pod people, and the Evil One is their hundred-headed hydra!"

Committee Head:  "Uh, Fred? Why don't you have some of that Valium water over there?  It's blueberry-acacia flavor, your favorite!"

CMM #1:  "Don't you mean Vitamin water?"

Committee Head:  "No."

CMM #1:  "Ah.  Um, if we could get back to the topic at hand, I've jotted down a list of likely panelists - we have Bauerlein, Graff, and of course Horowi-"

CMM #2: (Leaps to feet, makes sign of evil eye) "Noooo!  Nooooooooooo!!!!"

CMM #1:  "Oh, for crying out loud!"

CMM #2:  "Fascists!  You're all fascists!  You've been polluted!"

CMM #3:  "Have some more water, Fred."

CMM #1:  "Horowitz!  Horowitz!  Horowitz!"

CMM #2:  (runs screaming from the room)

Committee Head:  "That went about as well as could be expected, I guess."

(Other committee members shrug nervously and look at each other).

Committee Head:  "So I'll pencil in a suggestion for added security at the panel, then?"

CMM #1:  "And you may want to send along a case or two of that Valium water."

Is what took them so long?  Honestly, the MLA is falling down on the job.  If by "job" you mean "proving itself largely irrelevant once again."

Actually, I lied in the title to my post - I have additional questions, the most pertinent of which goes something like this:

Why in the hell does the MLA feel compelled to even put forward a resolution like this?  I mean, what, it isn't enough that the discipline's decades-long foray into identity politics hasn't helped further the public understanding and appreciation of literature so much as turned it into a giant political crapfest, they have to go and continue beating the dead horse?

And really, a "radical caucus" in the MLA?  Methinks we are preening a bit too much there, kiddies.  Or being redundant - I can't decide.

Sigh.  Apologies for my long absence.  And it looks to continue, as the fam is off tomorrow to attend the funeral of my Uncle, an 86-year-old WW II veteran who passed away on Tuesday.