Missing the Point

I've been asked to attend three hourlong presentations by candidates for a VC of research position.  Yes, I know.  My heart sank when I received the news, but I dutifully trudged off to the first one this week, and actually managed to a) pay attention and b) stay awake -- which was more than quite a few of our faculty were capable of doing.

Note to dozing faculty:  the auditorium is small.  The presenter can SEE YOU.  Also, you have just forfeited your right to get pissy about students sleeping during your lecture.  Seriously, people.  I cannot help you if you won't help yourselves. 

Anyway, the candidate in question had intriguing ideas, and correctly pointed out that research universities would not be seeing an increase in federal or state funding in the coming years--in fact, that the opposite would be true--and that the downward trend would probably continue even after our current financial woes abated.

So the proposal was to focus on research that translates to the marketplace, which could provide a revenue stream for the university, attract funding from private sources, and increase the stature of our faculty and students.

Win-win-win, right?

If you've ever been on a hiring committee, I'm sure you know where I'm going with this--directly to the Q&A portion, wherein the candidate was questioned about his commitment to the humanities and was accused of abandoning pure science in favor of corporations!  The implication, of course, being that the eeeeevvillllee taint of money from corporate America would somehow cause our brains to shrivel up and fall out of our heads, and then the faculty would turn Republican or some damn thing equally horrific to the earnest chick asking questions from the third row.

Serious charges, indeed, my friends.

Had these oh-so-concerned questioners bothered to STAY AWAKE, they would have realized that the candidate had explained both that humanities faculty are involved in these research projects AND that without pure science, the other research wouldn't be possible, but whatever.  Never let the facts stand in the way of a good opportunity for uninformed grandstanding.  I think that might be our faculty motto...

And so it went.  As someone more on the admin side, I was flabbergasted that these science faculty, who are supposedly all about the grants and the funding, couldn't see the writing on the wall in terms of where their cash will be coming from in the future.  This is a land grant institution.  We've been asked for a sizeable budget cut THIS YEAR, with more to come.  And when things get better, do you think that money's gonna magically reappear? 

Given our state's history, my Magic Eight Ball says, "Signs point to no."

The icing on the cake?  As I was leaving the auditorium, earnest chick was behind me speaking sotto voce to her companion.  Her major complaint (other than those previously aired, that is)?

"He kept saying 'guys' a lot.  I think that sort of gendered language bodes ill."

Right.  Keep on keepin' on, sister-girl.  You'll have no funding, and the university will have no coherent vision for staying competitive, but at least the Vice-Chancellor won't use pronouns in an offensive manner.  Thank God that you're able to save us from ourselves!

And thank God that I'm not the chair of this hiring committee.