Abject Humiliation, Conference-Call Style
Oh my God. Ever have one of those days where you just want to crawl under your desk and die? Okay, today is that day for me.
Every week, I have to sit in on a conference call meeting on a topic dear to the heart of one of our colleges. They've hired an outside PR firm, so basically all I do is listen without contributing, to make sure that the budget doesn't get out of control.
Usually it's fine. The issue is sort of political, so they are focusing on an information campaign with op-eds, info. ads, etc.
Except that the PR guy for the college that's involved keeps bringing up the idea of using the op-eds as a call to get readers to write letters to the editor in favor of our position.
This is a big no-no, and he's been told this before. The University cannot advocate a particular political position, or encourage political action on the part of anyone else.
So again today, I'm sitting at my desk, reading a report, when college pr guy brings up the idea again.
A loud "NO!!" Burst forth from me before I could control it.
Then I hear, "Hello? Hello?" from the conference call.
As there is no way in hell to soften that particular faux pas, I chose to clam up and bang my head on my desk a few times rather than admit to my outburst. Of course, it's not like they didn't know it was me, but I'm hoping I can pass it off as a technical glitch, instead of as my intense irritation with the college pr guy - with whom I have to work closely on a regular basis.
Dear God, I am embarrassed. Although on the bright side, at least I didn't let fly with the profanity.
Thank God it's Friday. And at least you guys can get a chuckle out of my lingering embarrassment.
I work with a guy who consistently embarrasses the hell out of me and our company in conference calls because he's the type who cannot admit he doesn't know something, so he breaks out in a shuck-n-jive. Any time he gets on these rolls, he's impossible to stop, always citing the boss as the authority of the stuff he's making up. As I sound like a 12 year old boy on the phone so bring no authoritative presence and don't want to get into an even more embarrassing fight during the conference, there's little I can do.
My favorite recent ones were during a hugely important call with people like "North American Product Manager" and "Chief Sales Executive" of large companies we wish to get money from. During the call, he kept unmuting himself, then rubbing the phone against his face and dropping it. The best was when he decided to "help" by randomly clicking buttons on the computer hosting the desktop sharing application. Of course he screwed the whole thing up, but couldn't admit that, so he tried to blame the very important person running the conference for the screw up.
Phones are the purest form of evil in our world. Conference calls are their black mass.
So, you were embarrassed why? The occasional eructive comment may illuminate where the gentle light of reason faileth, even unto the most benighted intellect. Next time you've got his attention, follow up with "Not only no but HELL no!"
Skippy: Good story, great screen name!
I work from home and I have a lot of people I work with who do so also, so I spend a lot of time on conference calls. Aside from the usual barking dogs and babbling babies, I've also heard snoring and toilets flushing (aren't wireless headsets great!).
We never did identify the culprits in either of those incidents. However, our company is rolling out a new conferencing system that is integrated with our IM system. The conference moderator will be able to see who's speaking because a little speech balloon will appear next to the person's entry in the IM list. I anticipate a few embarrassing moments before people learn to be religious with the mute button.