Conversations With My Son - #5,674 in a Series
So I'm fixing a fine family feast (Sunday being the one night a week that I cook, sometimes), when The Boy returns from batting practice with his father and the following conversation occurs:
Boy: "Mommy, can I say 'balls?'"
Me: "Umm, what?"
Boy: "Can I say 'balls?' You know, like with your weiner?"
Me: "Ah. You mean, instead of 'testicles?'"
Boy: "Yeah."
Me: "Do your friends say that?"
Boy: "Yes. Some of them do."
Me: (buying time) "Ah."
Boy: (looks at me expectantly)
Me: "Dear! Can The Boy say 'balls?'"
Hublet: "What?"
Me: "BALLS! Instead of testicles!"
Hublet: (soft snicker heard coming from back of house where Hublet is located)
Boy: (still waiting)
Me: (sighs deeply.) "Yes, just not in public."
Boy: "Okay."
Me: "Or nuts."
Boy: "Nuts?"
Me: (can't believe I'm going there, yet there I go--story of my life) "Yes, sometimes people say 'nuts.' Instead of 'balls.' Just in case you hear that, so you won't be confused."
Boy: "Oh. Okay." (goes to play)
Me: (calls after him) "BUT NOT IN PUBLIC!"
So Wittingshire linked to This post from "Amy's Humble Musing" about the perils of pronunciation:
Don't miss the comments thread :-)
I posted about this on my blog. I think "balls" is fine and even non-threatening, but my son got in trouble with the neighbor for saying it so we put the "only in private" rule in place also.
It's not like he doesn't KNOW the word testicles, or scrotum or even scrotal SAC. He knows them, its just more convenient (and funnier) to say balls.
Here's the post.
http://whilst.blogspot.com/2007/11/in-times-article-about-word-va-jay-jay.html
Also, I think "nuts" is funny, too!
Nuts is acceptable. I think the battle of the bulge or something, in the movie, the American guy replied to the surrender demand, ``Nuts.'' The German translator looked puzzled.
``Nusse.''
``Nusse?''
``Nusse.''
I believe nuts was substituted for the true and less confusing word. Valuable seconds were lost in the battle.
I could be misremebering the movie. It was in black and white on a small TV, probably in the 50s.
Ah, the scrotal SAC; that does bring back memories.
During the Vietnam war a very popular 'custom made' flying suit patch for Strategic Air Command crewmembers - who were cycled in and out of the war every six months, endlessly - depicted the famous SAC shield with the famous SAC mailed fist clutching... something other than the famous SAC lightning bolts.
Of course you couldn't actually wear the things, but everybody had 'em.
"NUTS!" Revisited
When [acting Division Commander General Tony] McAuliffe heard that he laughed and said: "Us surrender? Aw, nuts!" the date was December 22nd, 1944
To the U.S.A. Commander of the encircled town of Bastogne.
[German offer of surrender]
But then McAuliffe realized that some sort of reply was in order. He pondered for a few minutes and then told the staff, "Well I don't know what to tell them." He then asked the staff what they thought, and I spoke up, saying, "That first remark of yours would be hard to beat." McAuliffe said, "What do you mean?" I answered, "Sir, you said 'Nuts'." All members of the staff enthusiastically agreed, and McAuliffe decided to send that one word, "Nuts!" back to the Germans. McAuliffe then wrote down: "To the German Commander, "Nuts!" The American Commander."
McAuliffe then asked Col. Harper to deliver the message to the Germans. Harper took the typed message back to the company command post where the two German officers were detained. Harper then told the Germans that he had the American commanders reply. The German captain then asked, "Is it written or verbal?" Harper responded that it was written and added, "I will place it in your hand."
The German major then asked, "Is the reply negative or affirmative? If it is the latter I will negotiate further."
At this time the Germans were acting in an arrogant and patronizing manner and Harper, who was starting to lose his temper, responded, "The reply is decidedly not affirmative." He then added that, "If you continue your foolish attack your losses will be tremendous."
Harper then put the German officers in a jeep and took them back to where the German enlisted men were detained. He then said to the German captain, "If you don't know what 'Nuts' means, in plain English it is the same as 'Go to Hell'. And I'll tell you something else, if you continue to attack we will kill every goddam German that tries to break into this city."
The German major and captain saluted very stiffly. The captain said, "We will kill many Americans. This is war." Harper then responded, "On your way Bud," he then said, "and good luck to you." Harper later told me he always regretted wishing them good luck.
But McAuliffe sure had balls.