Sounds From a T-Ball Game

Ah, fall ball season.  I get to sit outside in the cooling autumn air and watch The Boy and others in his cohort spin around until they're dizzy, pick flowers, fall over - a lot - throw dirt, and play tag.

And that's when they're on the field.  The dugout is an entirely different matter.

But because I believe that fall ball really should be experienced to be believed, I have here attempted to give you a bit of the flavor of one of the games by recording snatches of the commenary heard during a t-ball game.

"Stop throwing dirt.  No, NOW!  There will be no dirt throwing!"

"Michael, the ball!  Yes, that ball!  Get it!"

"Jake, put down the bat and sit on the bench."

"Has anyone seen Christian's helmet?"

"Hayley!  Honey, you can't play shortstop lying down!  Will you stand up?  Okay, will you at least squat?"

"No. Dirt. Throwing!"

"Michael!  The Ball!  Yes, AGAIN!"

"Jake!  Son, swing that bat like you'd swing it at your sister!"  [sotto voce] "Well, if he would do it that way he'd get a home run every time!"

"Christian, what color is the helmet?  Blue?  Oh, that helps."

"Ethan!  Tag the runner!  The runner!  THE RUNNER!  You don't have to race him to second!"

"MICHAEL! THE BALL, SON!"

"Throw it to first!"

"Throw it to first!"

"Throw it to first!"

"Nevermind, sweetie.  The runner's on third now. Just hand it to the pitcher."

"Hayley?  Why are you sitting in the bleachers?  You're supposed to be in center field."

"Kids, stop wedging yourselves between the chain link fence and the dugout.  You'll get stuck."

"Here, Christian.  Just use this helmet.  Your mommy can help you find yours later."

"MICHAEL!  BALL!"

"Where's Christian's bat?"

"What did I tell you?  Didn't I say, 'don't throw dirt, you'll get it in your eyes?'  And what did you do?  And what happened?  Here, let me wash your eyes out."

"Christian, is this your helmet?  Where's your hat?"

"MICHAEL!  LOOK OUT!"

"Good job, guys!  See you next week!"

Man, I love T-ball.