July 02, 2007

Worst Movie I've Ever Seen

The Fountain.

No, not an Ayn Rand movie, just a load of crap that tries way too hard to be "deep" and to "redefine the genre" and along the way turns a couple of my favorite actors--Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weiss--into weepy, leaking, unattractive and aimless globs of What the Hell?

We got the whole "death as an act of creation" thing about 20 minutes into the film. The film is 1 hour and 36 minutes long. Yeah. By the time the movie's over that dead horse has pretty well been beaten to a pulp.

At least Weiss gets to die. Well, maybe Jackman does, too, but I'm not sure, because the narrative was completely incoherent. Yes, interweaving three stories is fun--when done correctly. This movie doesn't do it correctly.

You know, when your entire reaction to a film is "How did this even get made, much less made with actors well above the straight-to-video-or-Sci-Fi-Channel grade," it's best just to seal the Netflix envelope and move on with your life.

On the other hand, I did enjoy Ratatouille, though Hublet wasn't impressed.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at July 2, 2007 10:05 AM | TrackBack

Well, there are a few movies that might be worse ("Nothing But Trouble" a comedy with many actors who were getting big paychecks at the time, but without a single laugh in it comes to mind) but the insufferable air of importance that surrounds The Fountain could put it at the top of the list.

The thing I can never understand about truly awful big-budget movies is how so many people involved in what is by neccessity a collaborative art can be so incredibly wrong. How can this happen without someone pointing out that the emperor has no clothes?

Looking forward to Ratatouille.

Posted by: dhanson at July 2, 2007 10:28 AM

I was very impressed with the animation (beyond impressed) and the attempt at making a kid's movie without appealing to lowest common denominator humor. It is not so much that I wasn't impressed, but I just never felt an emotional connection with the characters, so I felt unsatisfied. The kids in the theatre weren't unhappy, but I think a little bored, for the same reason. They weren't coming out of the theatre buzzing the same way I remember them doing for "Cars" last year. I declare "Ratatouille" a noble failure, or at least half-failure - but definitely worth seeing.

Posted by: Hublet at July 2, 2007 10:42 AM

enjoy your blog. why can't i subscribe with bloglines?

Posted by: lori at July 2, 2007 09:01 PM

lori -

I haven't the faintest idea, sorry!

Posted by: BAW at July 3, 2007 10:44 AM

Perhaps Hublet doesn't cook? Enough?

Posted by: steveH at July 3, 2007 05:55 PM

Well, that's another thing - I am the foodie of the house, and the chief chef (except in the dessert area), so that was another draw of the movie. And, the food scenes were great, except when all the rats were in the kitchen cooking at once - bleh!

I don't know - it just didn't completely work for me, and I wanted it to. I asked The Boy if he wanted to go see it again, and he said, "No. Some of the parts of it were long and booooring."

Posted by: Hublet at July 3, 2007 07:07 PM

I'm sitting here watching "Flushed Away" with the kids. I hate kids' movies.

No RSS feed??

Posted by: Lori at July 4, 2007 07:36 PM

Saw Ratatouille and enjoyed it. With Brad Bird involved I was hoping I'd like it as well as The Incredibles, which didn't happen, but it was still fun with lots of laughs. Although the scene with all the rats cooking made me a bit queasy too.

Lori, there are "kids movies" and movies that both kids and adults can enjoy. I find most Pixar films are engaging for the whole family. Many other animated films (and similar live-action films) try to appeal to kids by reducing the humor to the crudest kid-level. All animation is not the same, and not all of it deserves to be labeled just "kids movies."

Posted by: dhanson at July 6, 2007 10:35 AM
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