June 27, 2007

My Damn Cat

She kills stuff. Lots of stuff. And I don't usually care, because I appreciate being able to walk across my back yard without sinking into the mole tunnels that criss-crossed it once upon a time.

But she has 2 particularly annoying traits - one, the fact that everything she kills must be dismembered and eaten on the sidewalk directly in front of our front door; and two, that when she kills rabbits, she only eats the head.

The second trait is why I'm cursing my cat this morning.

Yesterday, after I fetched The Boy from Y camp, we returned home to note the appearance of a dead rabbit: the body lay on the left-hand side of the sidewalk, and the neatly severed head was beside it.

I sighed and told a grossed-out Boy that I'd deal with it AFTER supper.

In the meantime, the cat returned to the scene of the crime and devoured all of the rabbit's head except for a piece of the upper skull that was about the size of a quarter. Okay. At least the rabbit wouldn't be looking at me as I disposed of it.

So after dinner and a bike ride, The Boy accompanied me to get the shovel, and insisted on "helping" me dispose of the rabbit.

I gave him his smaller shovel, and we divided the labor thus: I scooped up the bunny's body, and The Boy did the same with the cranial fragment, and we toted our laden shovels to the wooded area at the back edge of our property.

Since the ground's current parched state has rendered it concrete-like and impossible to penetrate with a mere shovel, I simply tossed the bunny corpse into the leafy wooded darkness with a flick of my wrist and that was that. Let the circle of life commence! Or conclude! Whatever. Beetles need to eat, too.

Then it was The Boy's turn. Except he flung his shovel upward instead of outward, and I was treated to the sensation of the topmost portion of a recently deceased rabbit's skull smacking me right between the eyes.

Awesome.

I hate my cat.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at June 27, 2007 02:38 PM
Comments

DUDE! Ew.

Posted by: Belle at June 27, 2007 03:18 PM

We had a cat like that when I was a kid... with some animals she'd eat everything but the tail.

It did help, for a while, to put a bell on her collar. The bunnies were pretty dumb, but after a while they did figure out that it was the bell of death.

Posted by: PhilosopherP at June 27, 2007 05:18 PM

Belle -

Yeah. Although after a decade of this stuff, I was much more blase' about it than you might imagine.

Philosopher P -

My cat is even better at removing bell collars than she is at killing things. Now if they had surgical implants, that might work...

Posted by: BAW at June 27, 2007 08:38 PM

I'm sorry I laughed at that. No, really. Well, mostly sorry.

Posted by: Jonathan at June 28, 2007 09:59 AM

Here's a comment for your old Toys R Us post.
I can't blame you on the complaints about finding someone to help you.. much less someone that knows anything about anything in the store..
May I offer an explanation?
They hire new fresh little 16 year olds.. that know nothing about anything and wont take the time to learn or even read a box.. They work for two days before they never show up for work again. They usually wont even come in to pick up their one and only paycheck. I've had to call so many people and try to COAX them to picking up their own check.
Lack of people is due to massive lack of business.. which results in massive lack of hours to be given to people.
It's always ridiculously hot in every Toys R Us.
The cashier had probably been there for 12 hours, seeing as how you either get scheduled a 3-4 hour shift or a freakin 12 hour shift. There is nothing reasonable.
As for customer service taking so long.. well. It isn't our faults people don't keep their receipts :) Though I don't know which store you visited, I can tell you... ours runs pretty smoothly aside from stupid sixteen year olds. I found this post pretty funny.. and sadly enough, true :(

Posted by: Asdf at June 28, 2007 10:27 AM

101 Uses for a Dead Cat good reading.

Posted by: Zendo Deb at June 29, 2007 07:09 PM