March 14, 2007

Topics of Great Import

I have to write these conversations down, partly to convince myself that they really took place, and partly so that I can revisit them at inopportune times in the future. I'm evil that way.

The Boy: Mommy, what would happen if some mean animals pulled Gertie's tail off?

Me: We'd take her to the vet and they would help her get better.

The Boy: She wouldn't die?

Me: Not from losing her tail--not if we got her stitched up and gave her medicine to keep it from getting infected.

The Boy: How long before she grew another tail?

Me: Dogs can't regrow body parts. Only lizards and earthworms.

The Boy: What about the aliens in the sky?

Me: The aliens?

The Boy: Yeah, the aliens--if you shoot them, can they regrow?

Me: I don't know about aliens. What do you think happens?

The Boy: I think they break apart and their parts fall to the earth.

Me: Sounds good to me.

The Boy: Yeah, I don't like sky aliens.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at March 14, 2007 08:48 AM

I'm not thrilled about them myself. All that bursting out of chests and stuff -- The Boy is right to turn his nose up at them. :-)

(Are you going to trot this out when he introduces his girlfriend to you? Are you really that cruel?)

Posted by: Jonathan at March 14, 2007 11:12 AM

As All Men Know, your bride becomes your wife when your Mom takes her aside and tells her every embarassing thing you ever did. I'm glad to see you're preparing now; Boy is doomed!

Posted by: PersonFromPorlock at March 14, 2007 11:28 AM

Jonathan -

It's more like insurance, really. Good behavior insurance. Moo-ha-ha!

Posted by: BAW at March 14, 2007 02:20 PM

I'd think about this very carefully. I'll bet "The Boy" has a few "Mommy" stories. Be careful what you start. During the cold war this was the doctrine of MAD. Besides, in the long run, he's going to have the last word.

IOW, be nice to your kids for they will pick out your retirement home.

Posted by: Locomotive Breath at March 15, 2007 10:53 AM