February 06, 2007


Things you don't want to hear in the morning, especially after a rough night marked by the spectral appearance of your son IMMEDIATELY IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AT 3:00 a.m. and the resultant adrenaline rush that means you can't get back to sleep for an hour because you're lying awake and wondering where the external shutoff to your home's water supply is just in case the pipes freeze and burst, and then when you do fall asleep you dream you're a waitress with a broken leg and you're hopping around trying to take care of your tables but you can't find your pad and pen and everyone is pissed off at you...SO you end up getting about 4 hours sleep:

1. "The dog pooped in the floor." This little gem delivered to me as I tried in vain to get facial cleanser out of my eyes while stumbling around in the shower.

2. "Mommy, I dropped my squishy football!"
"In the potty!"
"Before or after you peed?"
"Before or after you flushed?"

Great. Did I mention I've been off caffeine for a month? Did I also mention that I am hearing the siren song of Starbucks right about now? Yeah.

I'm gonna get a cup of joe and lock myself in my office with my fuzzy blanket and socks (yes, I keep these things in a drawer for days like this) and I DEFY anyone to bother me!

So there.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at February 6, 2007 10:52 AM | TrackBack

Oh, I empathize.

Things you don't want to hear from your daughter when your son is a looking a little green around the gills: "He puked on the cat's fuzz! He puked on the cat's fuzz!" Well, that, and the sound of the cat retching.

Posted by: John at February 6, 2007 09:54 PM

You need less sleep at night when you get older. Just set aside some time for naps during the afternoon.

Just this morning (3am) I had a Doberman standing over me wanting to go out (``It's a matter of some urgency'' clearly meant). So I just got up and stayed up.

The dog, of course, went back to sleep afterwards, as will I in about 12 hours. Dogs need more sleep than people. She'll sleep in the afteroon too.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at February 7, 2007 04:10 AM

Mommy cred! Mommy cred! Stories like those, stretchmarks clear up to your chin and 36 hours of labor amount to some serious credibility and give you unlimited hours of entertainment later on. You've got humor, horror and plain physical evidence to use as you see fit. For what? you may ask. Simple - one of these days your precious child will become a teenager. He will start dating. Me thinks you can take it from there ...

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