December 14, 2006

English is Important, People.

Like I told Hublet's sophomores when I spoke to them on Career Day, English is vital to your ability to get a job. Why? Because people like me will be reading the cover letters and resumes that you send in, and when people like me think you're an illiterate douchebag, your chances for successful employment in our companies will decline substantially.

Cases, many, many cases, in point.

My favorite? Living proof that self-esteem building efforts in education are working, even if actual education in academic topics isn't:

"I need real world experience and after reviewing your web site I get the impressing that your company believes in maintain a lax work environment while efficiently meeting the needs of it's customers (right?)." [We replied to this college senior, on an ill-advised rescue impulse, gently suggesting he get some remedial help with his writing, since he had an error in every single sentence of his three-page letter. His furious four-page reply included some amazing stuff, such as]

" should be straight forward and ... simply state that your company is seeking a grammar teacher who lacks creativity but knows how to properly write a letter and knows exactly where to place punctuation. If your company takes such a serious position towards proper grammar then I think you guys are in the wrong profession. I believe even the leader of this country that we live in lacks proper grammar yet he is still our leader. I can assure you that he leaves grammar and punctuation to the proper authorities such as his receptionist or grade school English teacher. ...I am not precisely sure why you choose to take such a stance perhaps because you have nothing better to do, or maybe because you have personal insecurities that seep out and you feel the need to degrade or target others based on stupid little infractions to make yourself feel better, I don't know what the case is ... if I am out of line please let me know but if I recall properly your companies web site is not the most professional site there is. If you guys are trying to project a laid back yet hard working image through your site and request the same from prospective employees then you should not be so prudent about minor infractions such as punctuation and grammar.... (I reread it before sending it and it states my point clearly and unless you lack the mental capacity to make out the meaning without having exact and precisise grammar maybe you should seek a new proffsion, I hear this country lacks alot of grammar school teachers perhaps that would be a better fit for you) In conclusion I have indeed made many mistakes in this e-mail many on purpose and many accidentaly I did not have the time nor the patientce to deal with it I will leave the grammer checking to the professionals such as yourself." [Editor's note: although his response fascinated us, you can understand why we no longer reply to the Differently Stable.]

Shamelessly stolen from the Cranky Prof.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at December 14, 2006 11:45 AM

I don't know which was funnier, the letters themselves or the snarky replies. That was a really hilarious read.

Posted by: Emily at December 14, 2006 01:01 PM

Having eaten our lunch, the steamboat departed.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at December 14, 2006 01:36 PM

Emily -

I love, love, LOVE badly written english. Nothing makes me laugh harder.

But even more than that, I love reading badly written, self-righteous screeds wherein the writer ADMITS that he can't be arsed to check his own spelling and grammar, and then tries to make it sound like it's the reader's fault for pointing it out.

Posted by: BAW at December 14, 2006 02:30 PM

The only way the letter you quoted could possibly have been funnier is if it cluelessly ended by asking "so, how about that job then?"

Posted by: Emily at December 14, 2006 03:05 PM

You can find this ad in google groups from 1996 (their current home page is a lot better, apparently having been translated by a native English speaker, though perhaps that does not always help)

``Korea Translation Company offers translation service on network with commitment of precision and reliabilty. We are treating English, French, German and Japanese. Also we are trying to provide additional language service for you. We guarantee for complete inter-language service with convenient interface, low rate and quick delivery. Worldwide companies concerned with Korea are our honorable clients. Remember, whenever and wherever you are, there is Korea Translation Company for Korean related language service.

Korea Translation Company

#501 Yeonnam Bldg.
72-70 SungIn-2Dong, Jongno-Ku, Seoul, Korea''

Posted by: Ron Hardin at December 14, 2006 08:09 PM