September 05, 2006

Hello, September.

Oh my GOD, but this month is getting off to a helluva start. My weekend involved reptile shows, a 1:00 a.m. paintball attack on the front door, and prepping The Boy for his Kindergarten launch, all while dealing with my mother.

And the Crocodile Hunter died. That just sucks.

So, because all of that is just too much to type out in the time allotted to me before I have to leave work to stop my mom from stalking The Boy as he makes his way to the YMCA after school program--seriously, she's gonna launch a stakeout on the bus line--I'll leave you with a few things I learned this weekend:

1. Don't trust a man with no fingers on his left hand when he says a particular snake won't hurt you. Those fingers didn't just up and walk off on their own, if you know what I mean.

2. Cost of treating a bite from a copperhead? $1,000, and you may not even need anti-venom. Cost of treating a bite from a cottonmouth? $24,000 and 24 vials of anti-venom. And the guy who told me this still had all his fingers, even the ones that the aforementioned snakes bit, so I figured he knew the deal.

3. There are basically two kinds of people at reptile and exotic animal shows: middle-class soccer moms with little boys who love snakes and overly tattooed goth/biker types. This makes for an intriguing mixer situation.

4. You have to poke a hissing cockroach pretty dang hard before it'll hiss at you.

5. Legless lizards are kinda ooky looking.

6. Zebras are very gentle when you feed them, unlike goats. I hate goats.

So that was a lot of fun, though Hublet still won't let me buy a corn snake. More tomorrow.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at September 5, 2006 12:23 PM

One of my prouder parenting moments came as a result of the Steve Irwin tragedy this weekend. My middle son, in an attempt to mirror the dark humor of his father stated "I bet his last words were "Crikey!". My response - "No son, it was probably "Ouchblubblubblub" - which had both older sons in tears.

I've never been so proud.

"Ruining our future since 1996 (c)"

Posted by: Jimmy at September 5, 2006 01:27 PM

Zebras are very gentle when you feed them, unlike goats

Not as gentle as unicorns.

``Here, unicorn,'' said the man, and he pulled up a lily and gave it to him. The unicorn ate it gravely.

The Unicorn in the Garden, Thurber, available in books from estate sales.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at September 5, 2006 04:33 PM

You know, Jimmy, we love you for who you are, and not for what you (or your sons) say.

Or is it the other way around?

Or both?

Posted by: Husband of BAW at September 5, 2006 10:36 PM

I think my feelings are hurt.

Or is it the other way around?

Or both.

Posted by: Jimmy at September 5, 2006 10:47 PM

We recently got an amber corn snake for my boy, and I can't believe how much I love the little thing. I will cry for days when it dies (a long long time from now). That response was wholly unexpected.

Posted by: Sage at September 6, 2006 10:34 PM

The great thing about corn snakes is that they come in a variety of colors. You could decorate with them.

Posted by: Angie Schultz at September 7, 2006 08:24 PM

I know! They had white ones and red ones and yellow ones and ones that were combinations of different colors...and they were so cute! I really, really want a corn snake.

Posted by: BAW at September 8, 2006 11:12 AM