April 13, 2006

Petty Grievances

So I know you've all been dying to ask, "Hey, BAW! What's annoying you today?"

1. Swimming portions of video games. Pointless, time-wasting and stupid. I'm looking at you, Lara Croft. And at you, God of War. Seriously. I understand, okay? Hold down the R1 button to charge the dash, then frantically jam the left controller forward and hit square and hope that Kratos doesn't get squished by the random mobile underwater wall. Boring and irritating, and it gives me thumb cramps. Plus, you can't kill anything while you're swimming. Can't I just solve a logic puzzle and then kill stuff? I mean, hello? The game is called God of WAR, not Aquaman!

2. Baby bunnies. Yes, I hate baby bunnies. Do you know why? Because they're stupid, and slow, and their tiny stupid slow corpses are littering our yard, because our cat is neither stupid nor slow. So we either keep the cat locked in the guestroom and listen to her yowling to go out and get no sleep, or we let her out and carnage (and eventual de-worming) ensues. Stupid bunnies.

3. This isn't so much annoying as it is puzzling. See, names are important. They color people's perceptions of you, and some folks believe that they even mold your destiny, which is why The Boy isn't named Thor, or Gollum, or Poindexter. So why would you choose Moses as a name? Talk about baggage--the kid is either gonna end up lost in a desert or in south Alabama on a former plantation that's fallen on hard times, having inappropriate thoughts about his sister and struggling to deal with both his mentally handicapped younger brother and his own suicidal tendencies. Because the only Moses-es around these parts tend to be Faulknerian characters.

And so with that, I am off to do the Easter thing with family. Back Monday.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at April 13, 2006 09:10 AM
Comments

You have to admit "Moses" an improvement over naming their first child after a piece of fruit.

Posted by: Emily at April 13, 2006 11:38 AM

Yes, but on the other hand, people don't have a lot of expectations from fruit.

Ancient Hebrew leaders with staffs that turn into snakes and the power to part seas; well, that's a lot of pressure to put on a newborn.

Posted by: BAW at April 13, 2006 11:47 AM

Yesterday on Dr. Laura, there was a pinhead who had named his poor kid Karma.

Posted by: Naomi at April 13, 2006 05:06 PM

If I hadn't already swallowed I would have spewed out my nose and mouth at the *Moses* paragraph.

Posted by: Michael Tinkler at April 13, 2006 10:54 PM

Come on now. You know Amos Moses was a Cajun. He lived by hisself in de swamp.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at April 14, 2006 12:10 AM

You can raise rescued baby bunnies (this may involve carrying them around in a shirt pocket to allow timely feedings). My Doberman Susie helped by licking them clean after feeding, in fact. No cat in her.

The interesting thing is that, having hand-raised them to bunny self-sufficiency, they're not tame. Getting away is their first priority at all times.

Maybe it was the Doberman thing.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at April 14, 2006 06:02 AM

Only BAW would admit to hating baby bunnies. At Easter, no less. Love it!

I saw you last night from afar...

Also - the Moses thing is crazy. Go biblical, but please, not so very biblical! Sheesh.

Posted by: Belle at April 14, 2006 10:01 AM

Only BAW would admit to hating baby bunnies. At Easter, no less. Love it!

I saw you last night from afar...

Also - the Moses thing is crazy. Go biblical, but please, not so very biblical! Sheesh.

Posted by: Belle at April 14, 2006 10:01 AM

Come on, not all swimming portions of games are pointless. Just look at Echo the Dolphin.

Posted by: . at April 17, 2006 11:35 AM

Considering some of the "invented spelling" names I see in my classes, and some of the geographical (or even, automobile-model) names that make me suspect the kiddo was named after where they were conceived...Moses seems like a very fine choice indeed.

As for the stupidity of baby bunnies: I think there has to be some kind of direct relationship between "cute" and "dumb as a sack of hammers." (At least, it works for the dogs I've known). Maybe the good folk at "Cute Overload" or one of those sort of websites could look into it...

Posted by: ricki at April 18, 2006 10:26 AM