October 26, 2005

Best Review Ever

Of The Grapes of Wrath:

“While the story did have a great moral to go along with it, it was about dirt! Dirt and migrating. Dirt and migrating and more dirt.”

Go here and read more.

Shamelessly stolen from Emily, who got it from this guy.

Runner up for the funny? This one about The Great Gatsby:

“It grieves me deeply that we Americans should take as our classic a book that is no more than a lengthy description of the doings of fops.”

Damn those fops and their doings! DAAAAAAMMMMNNNN THEEEEEMMMMMM!

UPDATE: Oh, and a special update for Hublet, who insists on loving A Separate Peace. Here's a couple of Amazon reviews just for you, dear!

This book is a vile tool of sadistic English teachers who are too inept at their jobs to teach AP classes and are thus stuck with Freshmen English and who cannot understand even the Cliff's Notes versions of real masterpieces and must therefore stick with trite coming of age stories that turn off generations of adolescents from reading.

This book is a prime example of why Americans no longer read.


On the back of "A Seperate Peace" the summary includes the words,
" tortured world of adolescence". This book is not close to being about the tortured world of adolescence, this book is about a book who did something stupid and then it haunts hiim for the rest of his life, and we are forced to hear him whine about it. I consider myself well read and open, and I am not enjoying this book. I am sorry for freshman english students who have to these 196 page of whining.

Okay, so maybe it's a bit sad of me to look for vindication in the rantings of high schoolers, but still.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at October 26, 2005 08:34 AM

For 1984

“Don’t listen to anyone who tries to distinguish between “serious” works of literature like this one and allegedly “lesser” novels. The distinction is entirely illusory, because no novels are “better” than any others, and the concept of a “great novel” is an intellectual hoax. This book isn’t as good as Harry Potter in MY opinion, and no one can refute me. Tastes are relative!”

Somebody's just finished an upper English course that, like, totally blew their mind.

Posted by: marc at October 26, 2005 09:29 AM

Firstly, I have no idea how I happened on your blog - but I enjoy it. Actually, I do know, but it's kind of a long, boring story.

Books, though - You can argue merits or demerits of any of them, and I did use to, when I only read science fiction, but that was when I was just a kid. I would argue, then, that Arthur Clark was equivalent to any author. And I was right, but only in a way.

Never mind - this could take way too many words.

Posted by: jdallen at October 26, 2005 10:24 AM

This reminds of an article in the latest Harper's (http://www.harpers.org/WhyExperimentalFiction.html), which could be subtitled, "Jonathan Franzen is an Ass." If anyone ever asks me, as a writer, to critique other writers, I think I'll give up the fee and abstain from comment.

Posted by: Brad K. at October 26, 2005 01:13 PM

I agree with some of them, really.

I mean, as near as I can tell, Henry Miller could not write a decent novel (no pun intended) to save his life.

Posted by: Sigivald at October 26, 2005 05:06 PM

This blog was doing this a while ago:

Madame Bovary:
So she killed herself. She deserved it, the sleazy tramp. There was no life in the text. It was just there. A great big insipid blob of nothing.

Posted by: CM at October 26, 2005 06:11 PM

Considering that on Friday the inaugural meeting of my high school's first-ever Shakespeare Club - started from the ground up by me, me, me - will convene, I'll brook no snarkisms from the wife on literary tastes.

Of course, I don't actually know what we are going to do in the club, yet.

In any case, A Separate Peace was only my kids' summer reading, and not my choice. In my actual class, we will read The Odyssey, Romeo and Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, and a little Flannery O'Connor before the semester is over, just to name a few. So nyahhhh (tongue sticking out)!

Not that I'm defensive.

Posted by: Husband of BAW at October 26, 2005 09:23 PM

I enjoy reading the clueless reviews on Amazon. The number of people who find the movie "Gigi" somewhat ... immoral, shall we say? just kills me. Hello, it's COLLETTE.

But I am depressed by the number of people who clearly do not get Ethan Frome. I mean, do not get it. In fact, I devoted the third post on my new blog that I started the day before yesterday to the real meaning of that red pickle dish.
: )

Posted by: Laura at October 26, 2005 10:48 PM

The review on Mrs. Dalloway was pretty darn good too.

Posted by: Jordana at October 28, 2005 08:04 AM

I hope the Shakespeare club goes well! Soon, there will be a...gasp...STARBUCKS in your fair town, and you can all go there and wear black and drink macchiatos and talk of Cordelia and something wicked and dammed spots. Good times!

Posted by: Belle at October 28, 2005 09:34 AM

"Dirt and migrating. Dirt and migrating and more dirt."

You do not know how that made me laugh, late on a Friday afternoon. (I will say I don't read Amazon reviews any more because some of them make me so ANGRY I could spit.)

(BTW - I think that would be an AWESOME blog-title: "Dirt and migrating" or, better "Dirt and migrating and more dirt")

And - Hub of BAW: Flannery O'Connor ROCKS. I had an entire semester of my high-school honors English class devoted to her (I got a teacher who was a big fan). I would never have read her stuff otherwise, but I really came to love it.

Posted by: ricki at October 28, 2005 04:27 PM