September 26, 2005

Mondays with Hublet

Things here have been out of control for about a week, so I'm relying on my favorite guest columnist to fill in...So heeeeeeere's Hublet!

I serve on the Scholarship Committee at my school, and we have to interview certain candidates for certain scholarships throughout the year, and pick nominees/winners for some of these awards. Last week our task was to interview the candidates and nominate two students for the prestigious Morehead Scholarship, which gives a full ride to the University of North Carolina, a bloated-ego of an institution which, nonetheless, is a place most folks would be pleased to send their kids to (there’s my back-handed UNC compliment for the year).

Each committee member is charged with asking two questions pertaining to leadership, moral fiber, academic rigor, or physical vigor. We get some guidance on this, but basically have to come up with our own questions, and make sure no one else is asking them. Well, one committee member (the youngest, natch) decided she HAD to ask a current events question, and that question HAD to be the following: “If you were a governor or mayor, what would you do to protect poor people from being devastated by a disaster the way they were in New Orleans?”

My first thought was, “O.k., someone has an axe to grind, and has found the perfect venue for it: a scholarship interview session – NOT!” My second thought was, “Phrased that way, they will all answer the question the same way.” But I’ll admit my curiosity was tapped, and I wanted to see how the four candidates answered. Sure enough, and much to the aforementioned committee member’s chagrin, I think, they all offered platitudes about having an evac. plan, calling in assistance earlier, having transportation ready, etc. But after they left the room, she seemed disappointed with their answers for not being thoughtful enough, as if these 17 year-olds should have come in with flow charts and a circle graph entitled “The Governmental Way to Transcendental Security, Fairness, Justice, and Invincibility for the Poor During a Natural Disaster.”

The impish (perhaps evil) side of me would have loved, however, for one of the kids to answer with something like this:

“Nothing. I would let them drown and starve to death.”


“I would drive to the coast, stand on a pier, and command the approaching storm to turn back, saying, like Gandolf (or Leonidas?), ‘You shall not pass!’”

Either answer would have automatically gotten a kid my vote, just for originality.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at September 26, 2005 01:22 PM

What about the following?

I'd have an evacuation plan in place much like what was in place only I'd follow it.

Posted by: Brad K. at September 26, 2005 03:39 PM

Air-drop copies of Emerson's Self-Reliance.

Though a guy applying for free education is likely to be handout-oriented.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at September 27, 2005 03:20 AM

I find the comments section is a better place to grind axes: "I'd never believe anything anyone appointed by George Bush says, would execute the plan that FEMA told me not to, and would make sure never to vote for Republicans until they stop being servants of Satan."

Posted by: Michael at September 27, 2005 08:22 AM

"Though a guy applying for free education is likely to be handout-oriented."

Ron, that's a little harsh, isn't it? My daughter's college education is largely being paid for by academic scholarships that she earned by the sweat of her brow in high school I imagine that the kids being nominated for the Morehouse Scholarship have worked their butts off too. Is that really a handout?

Posted by: Laura at September 27, 2005 01:00 PM

(period missing after "school".)

Posted by: Laura at September 27, 2005 01:01 PM

Hublet has a wonderfully twisted sense of humor. I sure hope that if and when my daughters ever come across an interviewer, that it be hublet-like

Posted by: Marie at September 30, 2005 11:41 AM