September 01, 2005

And now for something a tad lighter

Because I need a distraction.

I have finally found it: the one bumper sticker in all of creation that I would allow to sully my vehicle, but only if I could turn it into a lighted message board on the roof of my car:

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal!

It would also be nice if I could change the message depending on the offenses of the other drivers. Some alternate constructions I would probably enjoy using:

Visualize putting on makeup AT HOME!

Visualize your lane, and stay in it!

Visualize a new muffler!

Visualize tying down that crap in the back of your truck!

And finally, in the event my PSAs are ignored:

Visualize my middle finger!

Posted by Big Arm Woman at September 1, 2005 02:39 PM

Daunting, isn't it, to realize that there are voters out there for whom steering, plus throttle, plus brakes, plus turn signal is an overload condition.

Posted by: PersonFromPorlock at September 1, 2005 04:07 PM

How about: Visualize getting off the phone and spreading some of that depleting attention towards your road buddies! Today!!

Posted by: angie at September 1, 2005 06:14 PM

As I passed a car on the interstate one day, I noticed that the driver was reading a newspaper. Not a tabloid, either, but a broadsheet, which he had wide open to the left of the steering wheel, which he was "controlling" with his right elbow. At no point did he glance up from the newspaper.

Posted by: Michael at September 1, 2005 10:47 PM

I too have been amazed at the antics of the "literate driver." I've seen folks reading newspapers and even paperback books.

This was while travelling at 75 mph on the highway in traffic.

Posted by: BAW at September 2, 2005 08:33 AM

I remember one academic dean who was ticketed in Florida for speeding. When he protested that others had been speeding too, the officer responded, "Yes sir, but you were the only one who was reading."

Posted by: Michael at September 2, 2005 10:17 AM

One bumper sticker I am particularly fond of says "Horn Broken--See Finger"

Posted by: G at September 2, 2005 04:18 PM

Perfect. There is nothing quite as calming to this hormonally overloaded gal as reading your blog.

Posted by: Marie at September 6, 2005 11:38 AM

I had the "Visualize using your turn signal" bumper sticker when I was in high school. I actually had someone berate me for having it, at great length, while I was pumping gas one day.

Apparently he thought I was advocating that people just think about their turn signals, but not actually turn them on.

Posted by: marisa at September 11, 2005 01:26 AM