May 17, 2005

Ahhhhh! Oh, Dear God.

Dear Natalie -

Yes sweetie, we know. We feel your pain. We saw you in The Specialist at the tender age of twelve and we know that you can, indeed, act. So to be forever marked out as the chick with a hairdo even goofier than the Double Doughnuts of Doom must be painful. And we know that Lucas' ability to turn even excellent actors into wooden automatons sleepwalking their way through scripts that read like bad 30's wrestling serials written by a drunken Faulkner wannabe must also be a drain on your psyche, if not your sanity.

But this? Dear God, Natalie. You didn't need to perform public penance for your acting sins by shaving your head--or is it a nod to the ancient egyptian form of mourning wherein all body hair was removed?

Fortunately you have the bone structure to pull off this little tribute to Sinead O'Connor until your sanity and your tresses return. It will all be okay in the end, I promise. You may even escape permanent character stereotyping.

But in the meantime, promise not to tear up any pictures of the Pope on national television, okay?

UPDATE: Just to head things off, I know that the hair is supposed to be for an upcoming role. But it kinda kills the joke, such as it is. Oh, okay, I give up. Got nothin' today.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at May 17, 2005 08:52 AM

That has to be the most conscise description of the effect of Lucas's writing I have ever seen.

Rock on.

Posted by: Phil at May 17, 2005 09:41 AM

Good news: Rumor has it that Tom Stoppard helped Lucas w/ the script this time around.

Secondary Good News: Having seen the film, I think it's possible that it's true.

Posted by: Nikki at May 17, 2005 12:07 PM

But Lucas' Star Wars films are SUPPOSED to be a takeoff on bad 30's serial movies. Remember Flash Gordon? Ever see any of the originals? They were campier than h*ll. Outrageous hair and costumes are just part of it.

Posted by: Claire at May 17, 2005 03:46 PM

Omigod - "Double Doughnuts of Doom." ROTFLMAO!

(Or, to paraphrase Dave Barry, "That might be a good name for a rock band."

Posted by: Bruce Lagasse at May 17, 2005 08:02 PM

"Good news: Rumor has it that Tom Stoppard helped Lucas w/ the script this time around."

I heard they were originally going to call the movie Obi-Wan And Qui-Gon Jinn Are Dead.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at May 18, 2005 12:10 AM

Clair -

Takeoffs are usually lightly humorous and affectionate--see Raiders of the Lost Ark--and the character conversations aren't cloyingly melodramatic.

Lucas has the idea of the space-opera/serial down pat, and that's great! His dialog, however, too often jolts the viewer right out of "suspension of disbelief" and into "What the hell did he just say? Why? Ohmigod that's so corny!"

Posted by: BAW at May 18, 2005 08:29 AM

Oh, dear God. Claire. With an E. Sorry. I can usually spell...

Posted by: BAW at May 18, 2005 08:30 AM

While SW is supposed to be a 30's serial, there's an art to writing that dialog, and Lucas, for whatever reason, has a tin ear when it comes to writing this style of dialog. Consider Empire Strikes Back - written by Leigh Brackett, who knew a thing or two about writing decent fiction in the 40's & 50's. (She cowrote The Big Sleep, not to mention a number of classic SF stories.)

Posted by: Eric Brown at May 24, 2005 06:41 PM