May 11, 2005

Good Humorless

This is why I will never, no matter how destitute or desperate I become, turn to driving an ice cream truck for a living: teenagers.

Actually, it's also why I will never, no matter how much I like teaching, go back and get certified to teach public schools. Because I think that had I been in the position of the Good Humor Man (thanks, Irony!), I wouldn't have bothered to pummel the foul-mouthed kid--I probably would have run him over with my truck.

See, I am not a patient person. My patience wears especially thin when I am forced to deal with marginally intelligent beings who posess inexplicable feelings of entitlement. And if some pudgy fourteen year old were to fling an f-bomb my way; well, let's just say that sometimes I believe that acting one's age entails proving that older folks are indeed bigger and stronger than younger ones, and that this means that the younger ones might want to watch the 'tude, yo, lest the crazy woman get medieval on they asses at the corner of Smackdown and Jabroni.

And please spare me the "you're an adult, shame on you, you should know better" sob story crap. Because the adults who should know better are the over-indulgent parents who raise children to believe that the best way to get along in the world is to treat everyone else like dirt. Yes, this guy broke the law, and yes, he got what he deserved for it. In a perfect world, the teenager would have also learned a little something about deportment; namely that a lack of deportment can result in a fat lip and busted bike from a stressed-out ice cream vendor. Alas, this doesn't seem to be the case, and I blame the parents.

How do I know it's the parents? How's this for a clue:

The teen giggled as Didiano recounted the obscenities directed at him.

Didiano, who worked for Paul's Ice Cream Co., served up his own frosty insults.
"I told him he didn't need any ice cream anyway because he's fat," said Didiano.

The teen, about 5-foot-5 and 140 pounds, responded by calling Didiano a "bald (expletive) ripoff." Didiano later attacked when he found the boy sitting on a bike two blocks away.

Assistant District Attorney Dan Regan presented photographs of a red-faced victim with a cut inside of his mouth.

"He instigated the whole thing," said Didiano, who is looking for a new job.
The teen's mother said she's satisfied with the verdict, but complained that her son is now self-conscious about his weight.

"This has been a nightmare," she said.

Lady, the only nightmare in your vicinity is 5-foot-5, weighs 140 pounds, and thinks it's cool that he called a service worker a "bald fucking ripoff."

Posted by Big Arm Woman at May 11, 2005 03:33 PM

Smart move on not becoming a public school teacher. After all, aren't the public schools where teenagagers learn that they can curse at adults without fear of punishment?

Posted by: snopercod at May 11, 2005 06:41 PM

...and yes, he got what he deserved for it.

...from a judge who would have given him 30 days for contempt had he talked to the judge the way the kid talked to him.

Posted by: PersonFromPorlock at May 11, 2005 07:14 PM

I WAS a good humor man back in my 20's. At one point, I was working in "the projects". I had a little one (about 12) lip off. Rather than either leave or give an attitude adjustment on the spot, I told him that 1) If he lipped off, I was out of there, 2) The big nasty kids had a serious jones for ice cream, and 3) I would make sure that they bigger kids knew that it was HIS fault that I wasn't coming around.

At which point, I told the bigger kids. Problem solved. Not quite as satisfying, but the point was made.

Posted by: The Unknown Professor at May 11, 2005 09:02 PM

snoper -
Hublet spends a good portion of his classroom time writing up foul-mouthed kids and bundling them off to in-school suspension, which does nothing to solve the problem.

porlock -
Yeah, I know, but he did break the law. In his shoes, I would probably say it was worth it.

Unknown Prof -
Clever. Verrrrry clever!

Posted by: BAW at May 12, 2005 08:12 AM