May 03, 2005

Run Away!

Okay, I don't have much to say about the whole Running Away from Your Wedding at Age 32 When You Should Really Just Freaking PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL IT OFF Affair, but I do have a couple of words of wisdom for the fiance':

Dude, just let it go. Seriously. And by "it," what I really mean is "her."

Now, I heard some excerpts on the radio of the TV interview that you (the fiance') gave yesterday. Okay, you made a commitment--check. You want her to get help--check. These are good things. But here's where I'm questioning your judgement.

See, your little bride-to-be just fled, in a premeditated manner, completely across the country in order to avoid marrying you. AND, she didn't just leave it at that. No, she also kind of set you up to take some heat for a "kidnapping." I have no idea why someone would do that, but to me it does indicate that at the very least she was having some, shall we say, doubts about the possibility of future marital bliss.

So when you finally see her again, what do you do? You run right up to her and give her the ring back and "make sure she put it back on her finger." Umm, dude? Can you see how that might come across as a little, erm, obsessive and controlling? You've got a chick who is kinda unbalanced making a break for it to Vegas because she's "feeling overwhelmed and suffocated" and you show up and immediately jam the symbol of "overwhelmed and suffocated" back on her finger.

Now I'm not the Amazing Kreskin, but I'm reading the signs here, and they don't exactly bode well. Your bride-to-be doesn't want to be a bride. Really. A lot. And you're either willfully blind to the fact or you think that you can force things to end the way they should. Neither option is a good one.

I'm wondering what other signs you want that prove maybe this isn't the girl for you? Lightning to strike the church?

Sometimes, running away is a good thing. And if I were you, guy, I'd run so fast that I'd leave skidmarks.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at May 3, 2005 08:13 AM
Comments

She looks like a typical crazy girlfriend; but sometimes being crazy is the only way you can get contradictory things at once.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at May 3, 2005 09:10 AM

I was thinking about this whole mess last night.

I'm not married, so the only comparable Big Scary Thing I've done in my life was to start a tenure-track position at a university - at 30, two years younger than this woman is now.

I remember sitting in the "Kettle" restaurant in the town I was moving to, with my parents, and crying my eyes out (and I DO NOT CRY IN PUBLIC) because I was terrified - I was afraid I'd screw it up, or the students would hate me, or I'd hate the job. If there were some magical way I could load my furniture back onto the U-Haul and go back to where I had been (living in a back bedroom of my parents' house), I would have. But I also recognized that I had signed a contract, that I had agreed to do something, and terror or no terror, I had to do it.

So, come the first day of classes, I got up, went in, and taught. It was hard, but it got easier.

And I was 30, and probably had less life-experience than the woman in this situation (if you were reading carefully you will note that I had been living with my parents before my move to that job). But I did it. I managed. I survived. People have survived worse that what she was going to go through.

(Although I will say that a wedding with 600 guests and 28 people standing up for you is flat insane. If I ever marry, it's gonna be a couple of witnesses, our parents and siblings, and THAT'S IT. We will share the pictures later on. But no insane Disney-Princess wedding for me, thankyouverymuch.)

I agree with BAW - the guy needs to sit this woman down and say "You did something that leads me to believe you have problems and cannot be trusted to stick around when things get tough."

'Cause I really REALLY do not want to hear in 3 years that she has ankled again, this time leaving a baby unattended in their home, or something like that.

Posted by: ricki at May 3, 2005 10:40 AM

Exactly. What is she going to do when she is stuck at home with a crying infant and SuperDude is at the office or at his men's Bible study??

He seriously needs to get a life. And by that I mean get another girlfriend. Engagement is a commitment, but it isn't legally binding. Flee.

Posted by: Belle at May 3, 2005 02:00 PM

Ditto this post. By marrying this whacked chic he is only borrowing trouble--unless of course her daddy is uber-wealthy and is paying him off to rid himself of her.

Posted by: Marie at May 3, 2005 10:37 PM

A priest I know once told me that there's nothing like doing weddings to inspire gratitude for a vow of celibacy.

Posted by: Michael at May 4, 2005 08:18 AM

Walk like a man (by Valli Frankie)

Oh, how you tried to cut me down to size
Tellin' dirty lies to my friends
But my own father said "Give her up, don't bother
The world isn't comin' to an end"
(He said)

Walk like a man, talk like a man
Walk like a man my son
No woman's worth crawlin' on the earth
So walk like a man, my son

Bye bye baby, I don't-a mean maybe
Gonna get along somehow
Soon you'll be cryin' on account of all your lyin'
Oh yeah, just look who's laughin' now
(I'm gonna)

Walk like a man, fast as I can
Walk like a man from you
I'll tell the world "forget about it, girl"
And walk like a man from you

Posted by: snopercod at May 4, 2005 11:06 AM

Uhhh...make that *Frankie Vallie* (dislexia is a terrible thing.)

Posted by: snopercod at May 4, 2005 11:07 AM

Geez' that's Valli, not Vallie. (I'm leaving now.)

Posted by: snopercod at May 4, 2005 11:09 AM

ah, yes. Frankie Valli - "walk like a man but sing like a girl" as one of my friends used to say.

Still, I think it's a good song, and appropriate to this situation.

Posted by: ricki at May 5, 2005 10:36 AM

I think they deserve each other. The only problem is that they might be fruitful and multiply. I'm reminded of this quote from a famous movie. "Lawyers should never marry other lawyers. This is called in-breeding; from this comes idiot children... and other lawyers." Bonus points for naming the movie.

Posted by: Locomotive Breath at May 7, 2005 05:19 AM

Hey ricki, here's another one from 1961!

GENE MCDANIELS lyrics - "Tower Of Strength"

(Burt Bacharach and Bob Hilliard)

If I were a tower of strength, I'd walk away
I'd look in your eyes and here's what I'd say
"I don't want you, I don't need you
I don't love you any more"
And I'd walk out that door

You'd be down on your knees
You'd be calling to me-ee
But a tower of a-strength is a-something
I'll never be

If I were a tower of strength, I'd watch you cry
I'd laugh at your tears and tell you goodbye
"I don't want you, I don't need you
I don't love you any more"
And I'd walk out that door

You'd be down on your knees
You'd be calling to me-ee
But a tower of a-strength is a-something
I'll never be

"I don't want you, I don't a-need you
I don't love you any more"
And I'd walk out that door

You'd be down on your knees, ahh-huh
You'd be calling to me-ee-ee
But a tower of a-strength is a-something
I'll never be

Posted by: snopercod at May 8, 2005 04:02 PM

Rock 'n Roll will never die. There's a song for every situation. Here's another:

Poor Little Fool (by Ricky Nelson)

I used to play around with hearts that hastened at my call, But when I met that little girl I knew that I would fall.

(chorus)

Poor little fool, oh yeah, I was a fool, uh huh..

She played around and teased me with her carefree devil eyes, She'd hold me close and kiss me but her heart was full of lies.

(chorus)

She told me how she cared for me and that we'd never part, And so for the very first time I gave away my heart.

(chorus)

The next day she was gone and I knew she'd lied to me, She left me with a broken heart and won her victory.

(chorus)

I'd played this game with other hearts but I never thought I'd see, The day that someone else would play love's foolish game with me.

Posted by: snopercod at May 9, 2005 03:50 PM