February 23, 2005

Employ Me! I Can Be Crazy Too!

So folks are dragging out the tired old "why aren't there more women bloggers blogging on bloggity goodness" meme. Again. I guess this is in response to Susan Estrich's hissyfit about "female voices" on the op-ed page.

As usual, the discussion is much more revealing about the biases of the folks participating in it than it is revelatory about the causes of the dearth of the wimmin.

Which brings me to Ted Rall, whose latest column can be summed up thus: "I thought blogging was cool, but then I saw that all those bloggers don't think exactly like I do, therefore they are EVIL! EVIL! EVIL! I shall hurl meaningless invective through poorly constructed sentences and then pat myself on the back as I cash my paycheck. And oh yeah--McCarthy! Hitler! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Connection? Well, one of the ideas put forth in the discussion about female bloggers is that women, poor delicate flowers that they are, don't have the chutzpah to make bold, inflammatory statements (either online or on the op-ed pages) and then get into a screaming match with the trolls--or Chris Matthews, whichever--who subsequently show up.

Folks, if Rall's column is an example of the kind of writing you need to do in order to be a successful op-ed writer/blogger, well sign me up. I can be crazy, and I can be crazy in a fair and balanced way. Samples? I'm so glad you asked.

Here's a teaser for a column I wrote for The Guardian:
Karl Rove totally framed Dan Rather! And invented time travel so that he could create the atomic bomb, paving the way for the Cold War and Ronald Reagan! Plus he shoots laser beams out of his eyes, has Scanner powers, and bathes in the blood of infants to ensure his immortality! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! And did I mention that SUVs totally suck and will DESTROY THE WORLD!?!?!? KYOTO NOW! But I totally support the troops, even though if they die they deserve it for murdering babies and shit. Not that they're actually murdering shit, it being not alive, but you know what I mean. And, um, YAAAAAHHHHHHH!

And I'm ghostwriting Ann Coulter's next op-ed, too:
There is a name for evil in this world, and that name is Liberal. While I am firmly pro-life, I am willing to make an exception for these folks. And did I mention that liberals are stupid? 'Cause yeah. So let's all grab our AKs and kill everything that moves! And that's liberal! And, um, YAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Now bring on the trolls! Or Chris Matthews! Or any other spittle-flecked screaming teevee head! I'll kick all y'all's asses! OOH-RAH!

Sigh. It is truly tragic, the way my genius goes unrewarded. If I had known sooner that all I needed to do was lower my standards; well, The Boy's college fund would be complete, is all I'm sayin'.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at February 23, 2005 08:43 AM

Women are more into redecorating the site, and banning commenters, speaking in generalities. These traits parallel what you find in real life, in rules about how you act in company, and buying or relocating furniture.

You read blogs to get away from both of those.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at February 23, 2005 02:54 PM

Why should there be more than one female op-ed writer? All civilized women believe the same things, don't they? One woman can express these opinions as well as a hundred can and the ones who don't agree don't deserve to be heard.

At least, I think that's how it goes.... ;^)

Posted by: PersonFromPorlock at February 23, 2005 03:24 PM


Long time reader, first time poster! Love you!

Now ranting along with you- you'll be happy to know you are spamming new, female bloggers....wooo hooo!



Posted by: Chiaprof at February 23, 2005 04:46 PM

Uh... spawning, not spamming. Mmm....spam, tasty!

Chuh- Chuh- Chuh- Chia

Posted by: Chiaprof at February 23, 2005 04:47 PM

You da' MAN!

...uhh, I mean, that was really good (for a mere woman)!

Posted by: snopercod at February 23, 2005 07:43 PM

BAW, you are a genius, and you should have a syndicated column.

OTOH, Rall's latest column is, well, exactly right.

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