January 25, 2005

Farging Bastiges

Once again, a single bonehead paralyzes traffic in Raleigh. Okay, compared to last week it was no biggie--just an overturned dump truck blocking 2 lanes of the four on 440 and dumping sand all over the place--but still, I think we here in Raleigh have reached our Big Stupid Traffic Jam quota for the winter.

And do you know why the truck overturned? Because it was swerving to avoid a ladder in the road. Which brings me to the subject of my rant: Moh-Rons and their crap-spewing vehicles of doom.

Seriously, if you are toting a bunch of construction-type crap hither and yon, would it kill you to TIE IT DOWN? I cannot count the number of 2 x 4s, hammers, gatorade coolers, assorted bits of metal and trash that I've had to swerve or attempt to center with the car or just grit my teeth and hit, hoping for the best.

And then there was the ladder that fell off a truck directly in front of me while I was hemmed in with a concrete barrier on one side, traffic on the other, and some asshole in an SUV practically in my backseat. There was no swerving or slamming on brakes possible in that situation, so I took my foot off the gas and watched as the ladder casually skidded off the truck and onto the shoulder. I (and the asshole on my bumper) was lucky. The dump truck? Not so much.

So I don't blame the dump truck. I blame the stupid no-driving, unthinking piece of redneck crap who counts on the principle of inertia to keep 83 tons of garbage safely tucked into his Ma and Pa Kettle-Mobile as he barrels along at 75 mph on the highway. Hey asshole? If I find you, I will beat you senseless with your discarded ladder.

And don't even get me started on those alleged "trailers" that are supposed to safely convey lawnmowers and other "light equipment" from point a to point b. I wouldn't tether a radio flyer wagon to my rear bumper with twine, load it with 15 unsecured chainsaws and head for the hills, and these trailers are attached about as securely and are about as durable as the aforementioned child's toy. Heck, the radio flyer is probably more stable.

If you can't secure the load, don't tote it. Don't make me put on my high heels and come over there.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at January 25, 2005 02:59 PM

I've accumulated several complete tool sets from roadside tool kills, as a bicycle commuter.

Spring and Fall are the chief tool-migration seasons. Some are killed by traffic and found on the side of the road, where I pick them up, the largest being a six-foot spirit level, and the most useful a sledge hammer.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at January 25, 2005 06:43 PM

I guess I should count myself lucky. The only "unsecured loads" I've wound up behind is some idiot who has accumulated 1,835 empty drink-cups from the Sonic in the bed of his pickup truck. 1,835 drink cups that stay put very nicely until he gets out on the highway and hits 55.

And then I'm caught in a flurry of empty (well, I hope they are, and most of them are, unless the guy's a tobacco chewer) Sonic drink cups. (Thank goodness I don't drive a convertible.)

There's a law against littering in this town but the cop has to see the person actually doing it to catch them.

Posted by: ricki at January 26, 2005 08:35 AM

That's odd - and highly annoying to say the least. I have never seen one tool, not even the smallest screwdriver on any roads here in El Paso. I think it may have to do with the fact that tools are more precious than gold. Go to an auction at a self-storage place and buy a couch for $1 and a box of books for $2, but if an electric drill comes up, step out of the way 'cause that bad boy's gonna go for real money.

Posted by: Alexandra at January 26, 2005 10:27 AM

That post scared me so much I actually commented on it. Wow. BTW BAW I love ur blog, I have been reading it for a while, I am not sure, why, I guess its just that it is very funny. And sometimes scarey.

Posted by: Adam at January 26, 2005 07:17 PM