January 13, 2005

Story Time

At bedtime, I have taken to spending about 15 minutes lying down with The Boy, chatting about the day or telling Boy Stories. Conversations go something like this:

Me: What are you thinking about?

Boy: (furrowing brow) Ummm. Dat fan.

Me: The ceiling fan?

Boy: And bricks. And trains. And Snow Percy and Chocolate Percy and Dirty Percy can't fly 'cause they don't have wings.

Me: You're right.

Boy: Tell me a The Boy (note: The Boy always refers to himself in the Professional Athlete Third Person in these stories) story.

Me: Which one? (This is his opportunity to make up the story he wants me to "tell" him)

Boy: The one about The Boy and the red and blue chairs. And they have faces and eyes and noses! And they're MEEEAAANNNN (scrunches up face in mean expression)! And they're high up in the trees and The Boy is crying. And mommy and daddy are crying. And Keat is nice and Gertie is nice and Gertie doesn't bark. And then they throw The Boy in the jail!

Me: The mean red and blue chairs with faces throw you in the jail?

Boy: YEAH! (getting really animated) And then mommy and daddy come and mommy has to fight the mean chairs and everyone cheers for mommy!

Me: (Secretly very pleased with my role as Xena Warrior Mommy in this particular tale) Do I hit them?

Boy: YEAH! And mommy kicks the chairs and hits them and throws them in the sky! And beats up those mean chairs and they cry!

Me: Okay. Once upon a time there was a little boy named The Boy, and he was very brave and handsome and strong...(insert soap operatic story about evil plotting anthropomorphic chairs kidnapping The Boy and imprisoning him for reasons of revenge, complete with Lassie-like canine companion animal action and giant fight scene featuring yours truly kicking some chair ass!).

Boy: Tell me another The Boy story!

Me: We'll do another one tomorrow night. Go ahead and think about what you want it to be tonight and let me know tomorrow.

Boy: Okay...Thomas comes and there's Edward and Toby on the track and oh no! They're on the same track! And James! And there's a BIG CRASH!

Me: Goodnight, sweetie.

Boy: And Edward only wanted to help and now everyone's off the track and...

I leave him still busy creating imaginary carnage on the Island of Sodor. And wonder where the hell that part with the chairs came from.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at January 13, 2005 11:45 AM

Time for The Boy to learn about signal boxes and the meaning of "signal at danger." There is one Thomas episode where the troubles begin when Gordon leaves on Edward's time and gets sent on Edward's path. Much confusion ensues.

Posted by: Stephen Karlson at January 20, 2005 10:45 AM