December 15, 2004

Santa's Boots are Big and Black for a Reason

This Christmas is the first one where The Boy has really started to get the whole Santa concept. Naturally, he's excited and so are we. As part of our giant pre-Christmas North and South Carolina travelling relative-palooza, we will be riding the Polar Express up in Dillsboro. In preparation, we've been reading the story to The Boy and listening to Liam Neeson's lilting Irish narration on the CD that was included in our version of the book. So every evening we sit in our cozy den, enveloped in the magical cocoon of childhood fantasy.

Except when one of our Inner English Majors makes an appearance, as Hublet's did last night. I was whipping up some chili in the slow cooker, and Hublet and The Boy were doing The Polar Express when I heard:

Hublet: ...factories where all the toys were made. Belching thick black smoke that polluted the atmosphere and created the greenhouse effect.

Me: Uh, dear?

Hublet: Those elves are sweatshop labor. Santa's a capitalist exploiter, that's what he is!

Me: Dear...

Hublet: Then Santa appeared! Look at these illustrations--it's like some pro-fascist propaganda poster! The adoring throngs, the larger-than-life Santa...

Me: Do you want me to read the book tonight?

Hublet: Oh, and the elves all let out a roaring cheer. Heil Santa!

Me: DEAR!

Hublet: I'm just saying it's a little creepy, that's all.

Me: Yes, but perhaps we could spare The Boy the whole Triumph of the Will aspect of The Polar Express, okay? He's THREE.

The Boy: We get to ride the Polar Express!

Me and Hublet: Yes, we do.

The Boy: And then Santa will bring me a Power Thomas and a new bike!

Hublet: Made in a sweatshop by elves crushed under the jackboot of fascism.

Me: Stop it.

The Boy: I want to play with trains now.

So, no obvious mental scarring thus far. I can't say the same for me or for Hublet, however.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at December 15, 2004 07:52 AM
Comments

I think we may have married the same man. Does he have running rants at commercials he hates?

Posted by: Julianne at December 15, 2004 10:22 AM

Hooper responded about the same way to his big sister's brief, ill-fated attempts to convert him to vegetarianism.

Toddlers are just natural fascists. What can I say?

Posted by: Lex at December 15, 2004 01:49 PM