September 15, 2004

Things I am Sick Of

I'm beginning to think that Wednesday is my own personal Vent-Day. I tend to be at my pissiest on Wednesday. Ah well, enough about that. Here are things I am currently beyond sick of:

1. Hurricanes. Seriously, Mother Nature. KNOCK IT OFF.

2. Vietnam. I'm tired of hearing about it. I'm tired of people who cannot seem to get over it. In case you boomers haven't noticed, there are now SEVERAL generations for whom Vietnam boils down to Apocalypse Now, Oliver Stone's Platoon, China Beach reruns, and grainy video of hairy people in fatigues and kaftans alternately dancing around while stoned out of their heads or shrieking at cops in riot gear. That's your legacy, and you want to drag us right the fuck back there in an election year when there's a WAR ON? A NEW war, one which isn't Vietnam? Drop dead. Now would be nice. Because the rest of us are a bit more concerned with, you know, the realities of living in 2004 than we are with your sketchy recollections of 30 years past.

3. My dog.

4. The fact that iTunes does not have Ray of Light available for purchase. I have that on cassette (yes, I was alive during the Stone Age when cars came with cassette players standard, not CD players), and just want two songs off of it for my iPod. Then Madonna and I will part ways forever. But I want those two songs, dammit.

5. Chicken.

6. Phlegm. Mine, Hublet's and the Boy's.

7. These stupid freaking shoes. "Buy the mules with the pointy toes and the tiny heels and the insouciant side bows!" my inner voice said. "They're sassy!" my inner voice said. Hey, inner voice? My blisters and put-upon ankles would like to tell you to shut up.

8. Dan Rather. Your glory days ocurred decades ago. As in, they are over. At least when other 70-something people want to suck me into the vortex of reliving their past they don't use a national media forum to do it.

9. Faux-Eastern influences in hip-hop. Finger cymbals and chanting don't make your music more interesting or exotic. Or, God forbid, good.

10. Paris Hilton. Please make it stop.

There. That's a start. Now to limp off to lunch.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at September 15, 2004 11:49 AM

Up on the cranky side of the bed, eh?

As a VN vet I have to agree with your #2, except the pain of what we encountered at home isn't the kind of thing that just evaporates. That said, I had pretty well assumed the issue was dead when Clinton got elected a couple of times. Then Kerry 'reported for duty'.

#10 -- God, yes! She's not even pretty and she has the morals of a mink.

Have a good rest of the day.


Posted by: jim at September 15, 2004 01:29 PM

Download the madonna songs.

Since you own the cassette, an mp3 file would count as fair use copying for you. (More or less, as I understand it, you already own a license, so you can have your copies, even if you don't actually make them personally.)

Posted by: Sigivald at September 15, 2004 02:04 PM

(And by download, I of course mean from some shady online file sharing system. But it's not shady for you, because you own the tape.)

Posted by: Sigivald at September 15, 2004 02:04 PM

Jim -

I don't want the folks who went and fought to just forget what happened in Vietnam and after--that's not what I meant by "moving on," so sorry if I offended.

I've just had it with Vietnam becoming a meta-narrative for every single thing about this election and the war on terror. The hell? Check the calendar! 2004! Arrrrrrgh!

Posted by: BAW at September 15, 2004 02:16 PM

Prince doens't count as hip hop does he? I dug the finger cymbals in Seven ...

Posted by: RantingVirgo at September 15, 2004 02:58 PM

YUP, whatever birthday it was (I studiously do not ask), you are now past the "sassy" mark. You can still do "hot," I'm sure, but "sassy" is for the young women who, when they ask me over the phone to write a letter of recommendation I say "You were the blonde one? Oh! That doesn't narrow it down much!"

Posted by: Michael Tinkler at September 15, 2004 05:52 PM

> My dog.

Get Vicki Hearne's _Adam's Task_ and read the essays on Washoe and ``How To Say Fetch!'' See if it makes the dog more interesting. She's about as literate as you get, literaturewise, if that helps. Probably Wallace Stevens is mentioned. But it's about dogs.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at September 15, 2004 06:28 PM

I'll burn you whatever Madonna songs you want off of Ray of Light - since you own it, its ok with my attorney. That is the only Madonna album I ever bought. I admire her and follow her wacky antics, but never felt compelled to spend money on her until she got pregnant when I did. And her videos were shown constantly at 4:18 a.m. on MTV when my fetus was playing soccer in my uterus.

Posted by: Belle at September 15, 2004 07:43 PM

Sometime in my mid-thirties, I underwent a transformation: All my shoes say "Hush Puppies" or "SAS". Period. I am all about comfort.

With you on the dog, except for me it's the third cat who is now charmingly arrayed over the trackball so that I have to work around her to move the mouse cursor. She's there because I'm at the computer and she's decided that she must bask in my presence because I am THE MOMMY. Along with all the other animals and I sometimes suspect all the other humans in the house. Why do we have her? LONG story.

With you on Vietnam too, esp. where President Bush is concerned. We've had four years to assess his performance as President. What in heck does it matter about his National Guard service a million years ago?

Posted by: Laura at September 15, 2004 07:51 PM

You've touched a nerve: iTunes has a thing about Madonna -- or more like the other way round -- such that I had to resort to the shady Russki download service when I wanted to use "Like a Virgin" last week to teach scansion last week. Grrrr.

Posted by: meg at September 15, 2004 08:29 PM

Erm, I'm way later than lunch, but most of that I agree with.

What don't I agree with? Hell, I don't know. I've been drinking. Read my rambling, hehe.

Er, I mostly sympathize with the Vietnam stuff, DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I think the democrates are making more fools of themselves than sense.

Posted by: Praxilla at September 16, 2004 03:29 AM

As for Vietnam, at least since the election is not too far away, we'll soon stop hearing about Vietnam (at least until the next election cycle. At least our troops got some good press out of it, but as for JFK, just go AWOL, man...

I think Dan Rather and Paris Hilton come from the same moral family tree (gee, Grampa Dan - there's a scary thought). They're both publicity whores with the morals of alleycats. The only difference is what arena they screw around in and with/to whom. In case you can't tell, Thursdays is my vent day - over the hump, but friday's still not here yet, and I can't have "good; beverages in my office.

Posted by: Pete at September 16, 2004 09:05 AM