September 08, 2004

Stop the Fundies! Breed Like Crazed Rabbits!

I must say I was a bit surprised to read this article (via A&L Daily) which seems to suggest that the best way to restore liberals to power in America is to outbreed conservatives.

The hell? Because apparently ideas are not sufficient to persuade, and besides, EVERYONE KNOWS that you grow up to be JUST LIKE YOUR PARENTS in EVERY RESPECT. It's a sinister plot to take over the world through Womb Power!!! OMGWTFBBQELEVEN!!!!1111!!!

I am particularly amused by the lyrical call to reproduction that sums up the mildly hysterical prose, "If 'Metros' don't start having more children, America's future is 'Retro.'" Guess I'm screwed, then, as I am not fruitful enough to benefit either the Metro OR the Retro crowd.

The sinister evocation of the Mormon Threat is quite good, too. Perhaps we should just cordon off Utah entirely, and then nuke it!

And I would be very interested in NOW's response to the exhortations to breed for the good of the fatherland...has anyone forwarded this to Kim Gandy?

Posted by Big Arm Woman at September 8, 2004 12:25 PM

A good start would be to stop pushing abortion.


Posted by: Laura at September 8, 2004 01:04 PM

Oh, cordoning off Utah isn't going to do it. See what I mean? (click)

Posted by: Lance McCord at September 8, 2004 01:19 PM

Given the subject, isn't there a bit of a disconnect between "I'm screwed" and "I am not fruitful enough"? Normally one engenders the other.

Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at September 8, 2004 02:00 PM

Saw a link recently for a study claiming liberals enjoy sex less than do conservatives. Perhaps they need some form of remedial education...

Posted by: David Foster at September 8, 2004 10:49 PM

I realize this is being somewhat stereotypical, but I'm basing my conclusions on observations of friends:

conservative parents tend to emphasize children behaving well in public and making sure said children are well-supervised. more liberal parents tend to not want to squash the child's "creativity," by, for example, suggesting he or she not shriek at the top of his or her lungs in the grocery store. They also tend to be more laissez-faire re: supervision. (I guess it's the old "it takes a village" model, never mind that some of the villagers object to being unpaid babysitters).

As a childless person, I can tell you the last thing I want on this earth are more "creatively parented" children running around.

Posted by: ricki at September 9, 2004 08:41 AM

So I guess now the doomsayers like Paul Ehrlich and their cries of overpopulation are out of fashion? Now you *must* breed for the cause of liberalism!

Posted by: Emily at September 9, 2004 12:38 PM

Emily -

Yeah, Irony and I downed a six-pack while we laughed about that one...

Posted by: BAW at September 9, 2004 01:10 PM

Seeing as I am around parents far more than you, Ricki (because I AM a parent), I feel quite comfortable in telling you that your comment is not just "somewhat" stereotypical, and also sometimes wrong. As BAW can tell you from her own experience, even the most conservative person can have a demon-devil-child and some of the more liberal people you'll meet are excellent disciplinarians.

I did not initially want children but ended up conceding to my parents' wishes and my husband's dreams by having two. I also thought it a good idea to pass on loving, open-minded, progressive thoughts and ideas to my offspring.

I'm pretty sure my children will turn out to be the opposite of me (for example, I just KNOW they will love country music and probably white zinfandel, too...), but I'm hoping that they retain their currently unpredjudiced worldview and their insatiable curiosity.

Posted by: Belle at September 9, 2004 02:26 PM

And I did not mean that BAW's Boy is a demon-devil-child, by the way! Quite the opposite! I love that booger! Orange socks forever! I meant that she has worked in the bowels of the church nursery with me and seen the horrors that sometimes go on down there.

Posted by: Belle at September 9, 2004 02:28 PM

Belle -

Didn't think you meant The Boy, although lately he DOES fit the demon-child description, complete with pendulum-like mood swings but stopping just short of pea soup vomit and hurling priests through windows.

Yesterday afternoon marked the very first "I don't like Mommy" moment. Sigh. At least it took three years to get there.

Posted by: BAW at September 9, 2004 02:51 PM

Just remind yourself that there would be something severely wrong with your child if at that age he did not act in such a way as to make you want to wring his neck, at least weekly. I'm talking profound retardation, brain damage, clinical depression. So count your blessings even as you grit your teeth.

Posted by: Laura at September 9, 2004 06:34 PM