July 23, 2004

Fridays With Hublet

First of all, thanks for the fish puns. Betta blockers. Good Lord. And now, on with the post:

Hublet and The Boy have been spending Fridays together this summer in a male bonding/daycare break arrangement. I like the Fridays arrangement because it affords me the time to stop by Starbucks before work, the opportunity to drive my beloved purple pickup truck, and the privacy necessary to crank the tune-age up to eleven and not worry about whether or not the CD has a Parental Language Advisory. Woo! I take my me-time where I can find it, people. All hail the Friday commute!

The other fun part of Fridays With Hublet is the phonecalls I receive at work. I usually get a "Hey Mommy" call from The Boy, followed by a "grocery list" call from Hublet, and we usually conclude with a "post nap save me from the grumpy evil" call from both of them.

But today, dear readers, we had a first. I received this communication in place of my "grocery list" call:

Me: Hey there!
Hublet: We're dealing with erections.
Me: What? Whose?
Hublet: The Boy!
Me: (uncontrollable giggling)
Hublet: It's awful!
Me: What happened?
Hublet: He was sitting on the sofa laughing, and then he said, "My wee-wee!" and...There It Was!
Me: (more laughter)
Hublet: It's not funny!
Me: You know it's normal.
Hublet: Aaaaaaa! It's gross!
Me: What's he doing now?
Hublet: Watching Jo-Jo's Circus.
Me: I'll get some tips on redirecting toddler attention from their naughty bits and we'll keep them handy just in case.
Hublet: Aaaaaaaa!

Well. I had no idea that the grossed-out feeling you get from thinking about parental sexuality was just a tiny drop in the ocean of squicked-out-itude that you find when you must confront the reality of your child as a sexual being. Oh, and let me just thank Cialis and Viagara now for making sure that Hublet and I will be stuck with horrific parental elder-boink imagery as well as dear-God-not-my-baby imagery for many, many years to come.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at July 23, 2004 10:50 AM

We had a similar incident down at the beach last month. Details here.

Posted by: Lex at July 23, 2004 05:46 PM

Wait till you have to utter this sentence (as I have had to do many times this summer):

"Please put that away. You may play with it in private, in your room, but not here at the _____ (dinner table, family sofa, etc.)"

Posted by: Belle at July 23, 2004 07:05 PM

In my house, it's "If you want to play with your penis, please go down to your room."

Of course, my oldest discovered that he could make his own erections (between the ages of 2 and 3) by repeatedly bending his penis in half and then letting go. Something which he called me into the bathroom to demonstrate one evening. I uttered some banality and went into my room to laugh behind closed doors.

Same deal with my youngest, except he did a twist.

So the good news is that The Boy is normal.

Just wait, BAW, as your son gets older, you wonder about his fascination with his own penis as he holds it every chance he gets. Then you notice all the other kids his age are doing the same thing, so....

Posted by: di at July 23, 2004 08:37 PM

Thank God I've got a girl! I had to listen to my little brother go through all that self-fascination with his little piece of exterior plumbing.

By the way, apparently they never stop being fascinated with it...

Posted by: Claire at July 27, 2004 02:30 PM

I was just searching on google's and find "hublet and the boy".
Perhaps a relative, who knows?
Best regards and good luck with the "thing".

Posted by: Eduardo Hublet at August 13, 2004 07:04 PM