June 04, 2004

You Can Take Your Freaking Pencil

And stick it where the sun don't shine. So now a school is banning cupcakes for birthday celebrations, because:

``It would be 23 times during the year that other families would not be anticipating that their kids are going to be eating something sweet,'' Chandler Principal Deborah Zetterberg said.

Instead, students get a sticker, a sparkly sash to wear for a day, and a PENCIL. Well, now I know what was missing from my childhood birthday celebrations: my special pencil. Woo.

Naturally, the ban makes perfect sense. I mean, if it had only been 18 times a year, or even 20, that would be fine, but 23? Waaaaay over the top. 23 extra sweets a year will only lead to rampant obesity! Children dropping dead on the way to the bus! Dogs and cats having babies! Moderation? Common sense? Crazy talk! Bah! Ban the cupcakes!!!!

As a normal human being, here's what I'm looking for from my local school system:

I want my schools to provide nutritionally sound lunches that I may or may not CHOOSE to purchase. Also, I'd like to think that while at school my son will not be carried off by a crazed pedophile. And that he might learn something. But that's it. Policing cupcakes? Not on the School of Excellence Agenda here, people.

Unfortunately, I imagine this trend will grow. After all, it's a hell of a lot easier to ban cupcakes than to reinstate PE programs or reinforce good eating habits.

Yes, I am testy about this. I LIKE making cupcakes to share with The Boy's little pals at the daycare. With sprinkles. WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE SPRINKLES!!!

Posted by Big Arm Woman at June 4, 2004 10:26 AM

Cheaper than reinstating PE, too.

Posted by: Lex at June 4, 2004 11:42 AM

Maybe if everyone made low-carb cupcakes?

Posted by: Tom at June 4, 2004 12:12 PM

You can still make your own cupcakes for daycare / school? Every place around here has already forbidden anything home made.

Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at June 4, 2004 02:22 PM

Well, AOG, I do live in the forgotten hinterlands of nowhere, a.k.a. Raleigh.

I make 'em for church, too.

I hate store-bought cupcakes. They never get the icing right, and they taste like chemicals.

Posted by: BAW at June 4, 2004 03:05 PM

Dear woman, you have not lived if you have not had Harris Teeter cake/cupcakes. Store bought they are, but tasty they be.

As for the ban, well.....I'm IN the public school system and I say there are too many sweets. The teachers give them out as incentives, the parents in my class were responsible for bringing in snacks and for every cereal bar I brought in someone else had Krispy Kremes. The school lunches (which, yes, you can choose but your children often opt for them because they are a whole bunch of FRIED items) often involve sweets.

I don't think they should say who should bring in what, but I for one gave our class a reward of parachute play and popcorn one day because I was truly tired of the nonstop sugar parade.

Posted by: Belle at June 4, 2004 07:54 PM

My daughter's birthday is in the Spring, and I always used to send strawberries and green grapes to daycare, choir, elementary school. The kids loved it; they acted like they never got fresh fruit.

Posted by: Laura at June 4, 2004 08:55 PM

So don't let them have junk in the classroom for a birthday party. Just sell it in the cafeteria for lunch every day.

Go figure.

Posted by: di at June 4, 2004 11:09 PM