April 07, 2004

Things We Won't Be Discussing in Public

Until The Boy's pronounciation skills improve, that is. The Boy's paternal grandparents sent him an Easter package which arrived on Tuesday, chock-full of Thomas the Tank Engine goodness. The Boy's appetite for all things choo-choo continues unabated, especially now that we are counting the days until our June sojurn to Tweetsie Railroad for a Day Out With Thomas (Ah, Tweetsie! I used to go there and to the other attraction, The Land of Oz--now defunct, alas--every year on my birthday.).

The package included a Thomas video entitled Percy's Chocolate Crunch, which we have now viewed about 400 times. It features lots of accidents, which excite and trouble The Boy by turns.

So The Boy, being inclined to obsess about new videos, naturally wanted to request that we play it AS SOON AS WE GOT HOME yesterday, which led to this conversation at daycare:

Boy - Mommy, wanna play Percy garblegarblegarble.

Me - You want to watch your new Percy video?

Boy - Ye-ah.

Me - Percy's Chocolate Crunch.

Boy - ...

Me - That's what the video is called, "Percy's Chocolate Crunch."

Boy - Wanna play Percy Chocolate Carrot.

Me - No, sweetie, Percy's Chocolate CRUNCH.

Boy - Otay, wanna play Percy's Chocolate CROTCH!.

Me - ...

Me - (Avoiding the eyes of the other adults) Okay, let's go home and see dad.

Boy - And Percy's Crotch!

Me - That too.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at April 7, 2004 01:10 PM

I still think it's funny that the voices for Thomas and friends are done by George Carlin...

I'm still waiting for the "Thomas and the Seven Dirty Words" episode...

Posted by: Zach at April 7, 2004 06:48 PM

Kids saying the darndest things in public is like accidents after potty training....to be expected and not always pleasant.

Like when my oldest was entering kindergarten....one day we were playing "mommy is a jungle gym" and I ended up rolling onto one of his fingers and fracturing it. OVERWHELMING GUILT!! Yes, I know it happens, probably more frequently than I think since every medical person who my son explained the situation to just nodded their head afterwards as if to say "yup, know how that goes."

So off to kindergarten. On the way out one day as I stand there with all of the other moms and dads, my oldest son comes running down the hall yelling as loudly as possible, "Mom, why did you break my finger?" Afterwards I was amazed with his ability to make me feel overwhelmingly guilty and truly embarrassed all at the same time.

Or...when my youngest was about 4 1/2, we were standing in the check-out line at our local supermarket when he decided to ask, "Mom, if you have babies after you get married, how come Uncle Dan has three kids?"

Or...when frog-marching a misbehaving little brat out of a store by laying a hand on the back of his neck to steer him out, he turns his tantrum into a yell, "OW! OW! Stop that! You're hurting me!" (which had store security literally following me in the immediate aftermath of the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping).

Or...standing in line at McDonalds, each boy on seperate occasions has announced to all customers and service personnel how happy they were that they had sperm and would be daddies when they grow up. They've also announced their happiness at being born from my uterus.

But...they also say thank you to people who hold the doors open for them, so I can live with the inappropriate blurts.

Posted by: di at April 7, 2004 08:30 PM

My nephew, who has been allowed to reach the age of 22 through his mother's forbearance, used to yell "Help! Help!" in public when she tried to make him behave.

I don't know what it is about little boys and modes of transportation. If everybody associated with Thomas the Tank Engine isn't a billionaire, then they're idiots. Last Thanksgiving, my SIL asked her boys what they were thankful for. The 7-yr-old said, "America, and God." The 5-yr-old said, "My sister Sarah, because she is so sweet." The 3-yr-old said, "Trains."

Posted by: Laura at April 7, 2004 10:24 PM

Friends of mine had to be very careful because their child had a (temporary) speech difficulty that caused the "tr" sound to come out as "f".

you can imagine their fear that their son, who like most boys that age was obsessed with 'things that go,' would see a truck on the street and proceed to point it out and name it in front of company....

Posted by: ricki at April 10, 2004 10:37 AM

Out of the mouths of babes... Referencing some of the other comments, has he yet discovered the differences between boys and girls? That will lead to some truly interesting conversations!!

Posted by: Heather at April 11, 2004 12:41 AM

Since you and The Boy are coming up here to see Thomas, it wouldn't be a good time to discuss some of the 'behind the scene' antics of the crew that are hired to entertain of the off -the-mountain youngin, would it?

I recommend that you arrive early and stay away from the goats in the pettin' zoo. Whoo whoo!

Posted by: Marie at April 11, 2004 08:26 PM