February 02, 2004

All Hail the Sun-Tit!

Well, The Boob Heard 'Round the World has come and gone, along with all the predictable responses. Me? I didn't see the boob live, as I was busy trying to kill a bunch of mercenaries on my PS2. But that's neither here nor there. I always find the reactions to "shocking events" much more interesting than the events themselves. Of course, I had to check out the photos on Drudge (and may I just say, OUCH! Six months of breastfeeding wasn't sufficient to toughen my parts enough to endure a piercing. Just, ouch!), and read all the reactions concerning what the boob MEANS to the CULTURE at LARGE, and I've come away feeling pretty bummed out. Not offended, not all self-satisfied and smirky at the bourgeoisie, just sort of "eh," and disappointed that after several thousand years of humanity and technological advances out the ying-yang, our big stamp on world culture is a tit with a sun on it. Dude, Astarte the big-breasted earth goddess had us all beat on the boobie score in 1400 b.c. It's true there's nothing new under the sun, but could we do a little better than just using the sun to decorate our naughty bits?

I don't think "lowbrow" culture is sufficient to describe this crap. It's not really the kind of thing I normally associate with lowbrow anyway--lowbrow is "Hustler" magazine and the Budweiser fart joke commercial. And "middlebrow" implies a general acceptance by the average person that the MTV sponsored sun-tit is emblematic of our culture. I don't think that's happened here, either. No, I would call the super bowl halftime show the perfect example of mono-brow culture, with all its attendant Neanderthal connotations. Mono-brow culture is exactly the sort of bestial sex-saturated skank set to a drum beat that pervades musical and visual mediums nowadays--it appeals to the inner caveman, and that's about it. Ugh! Me get women to be naked and oiled up! Ugh! Me have bigger cave, car and bling than caveman over there! Ugh! Me have kickass semi-automatic club! Ugh! Ugh! We get naked and make glorious Zug-Zug together! It's not shocking, it's not titillating, and it's about as much fun as Pauly Shore in Encino Man.

Hey, mono-brow culture? Get plucked.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at February 2, 2004 10:35 AM

Nicely put.

Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge at February 2, 2004 10:46 AM

The trouble started with trees. Cave woman would use leaves to adorn her hair.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at February 2, 2004 11:06 AM

my major gripe with the boob incident is that they've insulted our intelligence by suggesting it was anything less that a planned occurance.

'costume failure' my ultra white bum...

Posted by: shane at February 2, 2004 01:27 PM

Zug-Zug? Have you been playing Ultima 7 lately?

Posted by: Jordana at February 2, 2004 04:12 PM

What's really amusing is all the outrage the establishment feels it has to display, when the only sensible thing for the grownups to do is roll their eyes and smile resignedly at each other.

Posted by: ManFromPorlock at February 2, 2004 07:33 PM

And for the past 9 years people have looked at me funny because I control what my children watch...

Of course, the half time show only demonstrates the move in the entertainment industry from talent to titillation (pardon the pun)...

Posted by: Di at February 2, 2004 08:23 PM

Jordana -

"Zug-Zug" was my little homage to Joxer the Mighty, who uses it when he transforms into a Tarzan-type character in the Xena episode "Fins, Femmes and Gems." No idea whether the writers for Xena played Ultima... :)

Posted by: BAW at February 3, 2004 08:27 AM