June 30, 2003

That's Not Poetry. No, I Promise.

Just when I thought that the poetry world had hit rock bottom with Amiri Baraka's craptastical non-versical freestyling hate spew on dead tree, I run across some free verse excerpts from Daniel Libeskind in a National Review article about the new WTC blueprint.

While I agree with Murdock's basic premise that the new design is garbage, the most interesting part of the article was the "free verse" of Libeskind.

For the uninitiated, "free verse" is a way for poets to call run-on sentences poetry. You can try to scan the lines for metrical sense, but aside from the stray iamb, you'll be hard pressed to find more "verse" in free verse than in, say, Johnnie Cochrane's famous pronounciation, "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!" Actually, compared to Libeskind, Cochrane is freaking Shakespeare.

My favorite example of the Libeskindian genius? So glad you asked!

America turns its mass-produced urine antennae toward Caesar's arrogant ganglion, while history is advocated by utopians as a substitute for defecating.

Hey, buddy, what my urine antennae and the arrogant ganglion do on their time off is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

But really, what am I missing here, aside from the tab of acid required to make sense of this crap?

Fortunately, you don't need acid to understand Libeskind; I've created a lovely shorthand translation for you. Every time you read his "verse," just picture him saying this to you:

"Ha-ha, arrogant, ignorant, bourgeois pig-dog! I spit in your stupid face and take your money, writing nonsense that your elites will proclaim 'deep and meaningful!' I laugh as I go to the bank! I hold you in utter contempt! HA!"

If the verse still doesn't make sense to you, re-read the above paragraph and add an extra "HA!" or two until you've constructed a stream of loud laughter. Continue laughing as you walk away from the Libeskind and move on with your life.

Posted by Big Arm Woman at June 30, 2003 02:20 PM

Or you can go to one of the various online random poetry generators such as this one:


And get spiffy poems like this, which are almost indistinguishable from Libeskind's.

We intensely sing to the hanging chairs
And the dancers run beneath the dark beast.
Why do the ships come so drearily?
Where is a monkey?
The man falls cleverly upon a good picture.
The hat goes.

Or if you want something with a little more political flavor, try the Google poetry generator


I entered: Amerika fascist hegemon Bush nazi
and got:

(?) ! --- on rushes Bush !
on --- rushes on
Iraq toward rushes on Iraq ...
on Bush rushes rushes toward
Bush ! Bush
(?) Iraq Bush ! toward --- war ...
--- (?) (?) ... Iraq Iraq on ...
... --- on rushes war
Bush ! toward

Posted by: John Hudock at June 30, 2003 03:00 PM