March 26, 2003

Self-Absorption 220: Advanced Topics in

Self-Absorption 220: Advanced Topics in Puling

Course Description: This course seeks to emphasize the importance of self-aggrandizement over all other concerns, even in moments of national crisis. We will discuss the place of the peace protestor in society at large, with particular emphasis on his/her response to being ignored by all rational people. Discussions will revolve around the following sentiments:

"We aren't being listened to, so what do you do?"

and

"One day of disruption in people's lives is nothing compared to the $1.1 billion a day that the US is spending to fight this war. If this is the only way that people are going to start listening, it's worth it."

The instructor's focus will be on making students feel better about themselves, and ignoring or justifying vandalism, violence, and the real consequences of taking resources away from those in need of emergency health care or protection.

Students' grades will depend upon class participation in frivolous and ultimately self-destructive activities such as:


  • Creating convincing papier mache missile dildos

  • Stilt-walking for peace

  • Making protest signs that cobble together no fewer than 4 unrelated causes in support of a brutal dictatorship


For the final, students must demonstrate competency in treating road rash received from naked die-ins, mental agility in avoiding actual debate about the issue at hand, and evading reality by shouting doggerel rhyme. In addition, a final self-esteem test will be administered. Passing grades will be given to all those who still manage to hold their heads up and retain their belief that they are acting "for peace" or in the best interests of "the people" or "the majority."

Posted by Big Arm Woman at March 26, 2003 07:28 AM