April 01, 2003

You Suck, Edward Said Here's

You Suck, Edward Said

Here's a fun quote (via Campus Watch):

Edward Said, university professor, calls the U.S. policy in Iraq a "grotesque show" perpetrated by a "small cabal" of unelected individuals who hijacked U.S. policy. He accuses "George Bush and his minions" of hiding their imperialist grab for "oil and hegemony" under a false intent to build democracy and human rights.

Said deems Operation Iraqi Freedom "an abuse of human tolerance and human values" waged by an "avenging Judeo-Christian god of war." This war, he says, fits into a larger pattern of America "reducing whole peoples, countries and even continents to ruin by nothing short of holocaust."

Look on the mindless parrotting of unproven tropes, ye mighty, and despair! Let's just count them up, shall we?

1. The amazing "unelected" myth. Yawn. Check out US History, as well as every paid and unpaid recount from 2000. This idea only survives among professional nutjob conspiracy theorists, race baiting rabble rousers, and those with no actual intellectual might. Which one might Mr. Said be? You can pick more than one, in case you were wondering.

2. Oil and hegemony together again! I'm thinking we need a corollary to Godwin's law just for the War on Terror--the Hegemony Corollary. It should hold that anyone using the word hegemony in reference to US Government has already lost their argument, just because they've demonstrated a complete lack of independent thought. The word is often overused in Post-Colonial studies, and its meaning runs the gamut from "evildoing white people" to "evildoing white people," no matter the context or the actual definition of hegemony. Same thing goes for "imperialism," as if only democratic societies can be imperialistic and there never was a Caliphate. Perhaps Mr. Said means that only successful cultures are capable of imperialism? Maybe we should ask him, just to watch his tiny head explode.

3. The Avenging Judeo-Christian god of war. Wow, he sure knows a lot about my religion, doesn't he? And history, too! Why, just this past century America was involved in a Holocaust. No, wait, that was Germany. Well, then we were being all imperial--no wait, that was Japan! Well, I'm sure we were involved somehow--oh, right. We fought AGAINST those things. Such an easy mistake to make, particularly if you're distracted by visions of hegemonic crusaders intent on feeding oil to babies before sacrificing them to Jesus...wait, something's not quite right there. Well, that would require thinking instead of knee-jerk hate spew, and we high minded intellectuals are simply too busy for piffle such as facts.

Edward, your sustained years of raging against the machine are taking their toll and you're finally coming completely unglued. While it's fun to watch, I'm thinking we should remove all sharp objects from your room for a while. Here's a nice crayon--why don't you go draw a diagram of hegemony on that soft, padded wall?

Posted by Big Arm Woman at April 1, 2003 01:05 PM